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Alone, Not Lonely: Solo Activities that Help Introverts Thrive

by Guest
August 6th, 2020

As the novel coronavirus has made its trip around the globe, worldwide lockdowns have suddenly turned us all into introverts, whether we like it or not. But if you’re a natural-born introvert, social distancing isn’t a burden borne of the pandemic. It’s a mental and spiritual necessity.

Unlike those who’ve been forced to isolate out of fear of the virus, we introverts are uniquely equipped to understand and appreciate the pleasures of solitude. But even for us, the stresses of the pandemic may have become a bit wearing.

And that means you may be finding yourself struggling in your work and your home life, especially if you are telecommuting while you shelter-in-place. It might well be, in fact, that working from home and isolating at home has, paradoxically, taken you away from the solo activities that you used to turn to recharge your batteries and revitalize your spirit.

This article will give you some tips and tricks to rediscover the solitude you need to help you live your best home and work life, even under lockdown.

Get Out There

Even if your community is still on lockdown, that doesn’t mean you can’t get outside and into nature. Studies show that being out in nature makes you happier, more focused, and far less stressed.

And in the age of coronavirus, feeling calmer and more centered is a prescription we all need. After all, with the constant anxiety over the fear of the virus, combined with the pressures of suddenly learning to work, learn, and socialize entirely from home, we’re all, extraverts and introverts alike, starting to bounce off the walls a little bit.

The important thing, though, is to be prepared when you take your outdoor adventure. Make sure you pack the appropriate gear and supplies for your wilderness excursion, and always let people know where you’re going and how long you’ll be gone.

Get a Hobby

As hard as life under lockdown might be, even for us introverts, it’s certainly not without its advantages. There’s never going to be a better time than now to learn something or to pick up a new hobby.

You might never have considered metal detecting, for instance, but it’s actually a perfect pastime for introverts. You get to learn interesting new facts about all sorts of things, from geology and biology to electronics and meteorology.

Best of all, you never know when you’re going to stumble on buried treasure — or at least a neat artifact or two!

And if you’re more into indoor hobbies, the options are pretty much endless there too! It’s all a matter of figuring out where your interests and your passions lie.

Love music? Why not learn to play an instrument? Always been a bookworm? Why not try your hand at writing fiction or poetry? Love beautiful art? Grab a canvas and some paints and start creating!

Get Your Tech On

Thriving as an introvert under lockdown means that you’re probably going to have to turn to the same tools that your extraverted counterparts are using to get through the day-to-day. Instant messaging and video conferencing tools, such as Slack and Zoom, are amazing resources for helping you get what little bit of a socializing fix you might need to feel your best. And they’re particularly useful when it comes to telework. They allow you to keep in touch with your colleagues as needed throughout your virtual workday without your becoming so overwhelmed that your energy and focus are drained away.

The Takeaway

It might seem ironic that introverts could be struggling nearly as much as extraverts with life under lockdown. But it’s happening. And that’s making nearly every aspect of daily living all that much harder. The good news is that there are fun solo activities that you can enjoy right now. They’ll help you recharge your mental and spiritual batteries. They’ll help you support the extraverts in your life as they cope with the solitude you’ve always loved. And they’ll help you to regain that focus and motivation you need to do your job, whether you’re working remotely or on-site.

Image by mattlewisid from Pixabay

Indiana Lee is a writer and journalist from the Pacific Northwest with a passion for covering business, social justice, environmental protection, and more. In her off time you can find her reading in her hammock or hiking with her dogs. You are welcome to follow her on Twitter or reach her at indianaleewrites@gmail.com.

Categories General
Tags : Coronavirus, COVID-19, social distancing
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Social Distancing: Introverts, we’re up!

by Hazel Thornton
March 12th, 2020

Social distancingAlmost overnight, social distancing has become a household term. If you haven’t heard yet, it’s a bona fide method of slowing down the spread of disease, namely the Coronavirus (COVID-19). And it has an entire Wikipedia page devoted to it! (If you look at nothing else on the page while you’re there, don’t miss the terrific Flatten The Curve GIF.) Social distancing helps flatten the epidemic curve, so that even if many people fall ill they won’t do it all at once, and won’t overwhelm our medical facilities and resources.

Team Introvert, we're up! Time to help extraverts adjust to Social Distancing during the Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic.Click To Tweet

Most of the introverts I know, upon first hearing the term social distancing, shouted in unison (to themselves): I’ve been training for this moment all my life!

And most of the extraverts groaned: Ugh, I’m doomed!

So, Team Introvert, we’re up!

This is our chance to help our poor extraverted loved ones adjust to their newly-imposed exile.

It won’t be easy — there are as many drawbacks as there are benefits of social distancing — but I think we’re up to it, don’t you?

Benefits of social distancing:

  • More time at home doing whatever we already love doing — reading, writing, making art, cuddling with our cats (you know, all the stereotypical introvert stuff)
  • Free pass to avoid social gatherings — no questions asked!
  • Slows the spread of Coronavirus (COVID-19) and other communicable diseases

Drawbacks of social distancing:

  • More time at home than we may want. Even introverts need to socialize sometimes! (Have you found your socializing sweet spot?)
  • The extraverts we live with may be bouncing off the walls. (Maybe some of these houseguest tips will help everyone get along.)
  • The extraverts we care about (whether or not we live with them) may need help adjusting to their new lifestyle.

Help your extraverted friends out

  • Suggest ways they can entertain themselves if they get bored.
  • Share informative resources that you have been quietly researching all along.
  • Show them how to download an e-book or audiobook from the library.
  • Tell them about your favorite shopping and food delivery apps that they may not know about yet.
  • Remind them they can still go outside for exercise, or gather in small, well-ventilated groups for social relief.
  • Show them how to network and be productive while working at home, if you (and they) have that luxury.

Take care of one another

  • Reach out to friends and family via email, social media, or — gasp! — telephone. I know, I know….hear me out….if this period of social distancing is prolonged, you might even consider scheduling a regular call or — double gasp! — a video chat. Weekly…daily….it depends on the situation. It may make them less anxious to know how often they can expect to hear from you, and it gives everyone something to look forward to. You can catch up, reassure one another you’re OK, and check to see what either of you might need.
  • Look in on your elderly neighbors. Wherever they fall on the introvert-extravert spectrum they may need help and be reluctant to ask for it.

We’ve got this!

We’ve got skills, and it’s time to support our less introverted friends and family during this health crisis.

What other ways — serious and also just for fun — can you think of that introverts can come to the rescue?

Please share them with us in the comments below.

Rememer: Keep calm….and wash your hands!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Categories General
Tags : Coronavirus, COVID-19, social distancing
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Social Media Marketing as an Introvert

by Guest
February 27th, 2020

social media marketing

If you’re an introvert, the idea of having to network or market your services can be an anxiety-inducing nightmare. The idea of having to put yourself out there in front of a crowd can be overwhelming but it’s not impossible. There are several ways to market yourself on social media and you don’t have to be an expert to do it.

Focus on Your Services or Product

Social media is a great way to stay connected with friends and family for introverts and extroverts alike. You can share pictures, exchange messages, and, in general, keep up with everyone’s lives without having to physically be present. But it’s also an excellent tool to use for marketing too. If you’re thinking you’re not experienced enough to know how to use it as a marketing tool, or if you’re afraid your introversion might be a problem, don’t be so sure.

If putting yourself out there online even makes you nervous, look at it as simply a marketing tool. You don’t need to use it for personal reasons if you don’t feel compelled to do so. Focusing on it as a tool gives you room to step back and talk about your product and services instead of yourself. This gives you the chance to interact with your customers, answer their questions and address any issues they may have. When brands personally respond to messages, it creates a deeper relationship with the customer.

Plus, this is a great way to get customers to focus on your brand instead of the person behind the brand. You can communicate with them through your organization’s account and allow them to see the benefits of your product or service. It also allows you to show off your customer service skills and make connections. Having a customer service strategy is crucial in this day and age where every customer has a virtual platform to talk about your company. When you up your customer service game, customers take notice and oftentimes, they brag about it on social media.

Protecting Your Content

When you use social media as a marketing tool for your organization, you’re more likely to put a lot of work and effort into the content you create and share. If sharing these messages with an audience is already stressing you out because you’re an introvert, don’t compound that stress by forgetting to protect your content. The content you create belongs solely to you, but the internet makes it very easy for others to copy it for their own use and that’s not fair to you.

Before you begin your social media marketing campaign, take a look at copyright laws. Make sure you know how to protect your messages and images from being stolen. This will head off any stressful situations that might occur if you find someone else infringing on your copyright or violating your trademark. Plus, you’ll know what is legally allowed and what isn’t, which will make you better prepared to handle the issue.

Don’t Let Social Media Be a Drain

There are plenty of studies showing that too much social media isn’t good for anyone. In fact, one of the biggest groups affected is teenagers, who are often the targets of social media marketing. With smartphones, social media is only a few scrolls away with pictures of everyone’s supposedly perfect life. It’s easy to forget that these pictures are curated so you’re only seeing the highlights of everyone’s day. If you’re having a bad day, that can make you feel inadequate or upset. If you find that social media is causing you to feel depressed or anxious, even if you are only using it as a marketing tool, it’s okay to take a step back.

Introverts often need a break from being around others so they can recharge their batteries and that includes social media. Know your limits and know it’s ok to take a few days off if social media is affecting your mental health. Your mental well being is more important than anything else. If you stay aware of how you’re feeling, the use of social media as a marketing tool will be even easier when you decide to make your comeback.

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

Indiana Lee is a writer and journalist from the Pacific Northwest with a passion for covering business, social justice, environmental protection, and more. In her off time you can find her reading in her hammock or hiking with her dogs. You are welcome to follow her on Twitter or reach her at indianaleewrites@gmail.com.

Categories Business Networking
Tags : business tips for introverts, Marketing, social media
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How to Make Friends as an Adult

by Guest
January 28th, 2020

making friends

As a child and young adult, friendships happened naturally, and seemingly every day. From peewee sports teams to high school extracurriculars to college classes, these bonds formed effortlessly—and in some cases, even stood the tests of time.

As an adult, and especially as an introverted adult, making friends can seem a lot harder—even impossible. Whether you moved to a new city to start your career, have focused on growing your family for years, or just lost touch with your hometown besties, it can seem intimidating to start from scratch and make friends as a grownup.

It can be hard to know where to go, what to say, and what to do in order to cultivate and grow those friendships as an adult. Studies have shown that forming friendships later in life can take up to 90 hours, and becoming “besties” can take twice as long, so it’s important to take that leap of faith and start connecting with people sooner rather than later!

One easy and natural way to make friends, especially if you’re in a new place without many friends, is to start a new hobby or join a class. This way, you’re meeting people with shared interests—meaning you can skip the small talk and get right to forming a deeper connection! Find a hobby you enjoy or are interested in starting, whether it’s hiking, pottery, or a book club, and search your area for local meetups. You’ll learn something new and make friends at the same time!

Another way tailor-made to help introverts to make friends is by utilizing the power of social media. Join local pages, groups, and friend request people in your area to keep up-to-date on any hangouts or meetups in your area. Often the people in local groups are in the same boat and are looking to make friends, so the pressure is off!

No matter how you go about making friends as an adult, remember how important human connection is. Whether you’re a “loner” or just lonely, putting yourself out there is the first (and most important!) step to making friends and connections as a grown-up. Use the visual below to find out even more ways to make friends as an adult, as well as some actionable tips on how to make (and grow!) those friendships.

How to Make Friends as an Adult

Article and Infographic by hellobestow.com
Featured Image by rawpixel.com

Categories Relationships
Tags : friendship
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How Your Personality Is Impacting Your Finances

by Guest
June 25th, 2019

Your Myers-Briggs personality can give you insight into how you perceive the world around you and make decisions around your life, career, and relationships. This includes your relationship with money.

While everyone has their own unique view and story around their finance history, personality tests can reveal a lot about your spending, saving, and investing habits. This is called your “money personality” and it can reveal if you are the type of person to set limits on a shopping spree, pick up the bill when dining out with friends, and more.

For example, INFP’s are known for being compassionate, idealistic and inquisitive. In order to be content and comfortable with their spending, INFPs are encouraged to link their financial goals to their personal values. They’re also advised to make sure to take care of themselves before helping others and to take setbacks in stride rather than dwelling on the past.

While all of the decisions around your finance ultimately affect your financial goal and savings plans, these actions are actually a bigger revealer around who you are as a person. Use the graphic below to discover what your personality type reveals about your finances, whether you need help budgeting or could use some investing advice. Discover more below.

Please include attribution to Mint.com with this graphic.

How Your Personality Is Impacting Your Finances

Mint.com is a free, web-based personal financial management service for the US and Canada operated by Intuit.

Categories Type Theory
Tags : personality type
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Introverts and Addiction: Struggles to Overcome

by Guest
May 27th, 2019

alcoholic

Just because my transition from extrovert to introvert has benefited me, does not mean it is the same for everyone. You might not realize that introverts have personality traits that could lead to addiction (while extroverts have their own specific set of traits that might make them addiction-prone, as well). Because introverts tend to prefer spending time alone, determining if he or she is struggling with an addiction based on isolation could be difficult.

If you are determined to always be alone, and are trying to deal with your addiction, it’s important to step outside your comfort zone, however you can. Addicts in recovery need to be around people and need to talk about their experiences, thoughts and feelings in order to grow. Because of fear of group settings, you may avoid going to rehab or support group meetings, which are tools that can otherwise greatly assist your recovery journey.

Since alcohol releases dopamine, it can help you to feel more confident in social situations, where you might talk more, or feel confident enough to approach others. This allows you to step outside of your comfort zone as an introvert. Alcohol can cause some introverts to self-medicate in order to get through social events. Whether it is work, or a family function, drugs or alcohol can be used to help introverts manage to make it through. When you become used to self-medicating for social events, you may run the risk of becoming addicted.

Positives of Being an Introvert in Recovery

They say introverts are deep, critical thinkers, meaning we see and understand the big picture. When you know the consequences of your actions you will be more likely to make the correct decisions. Other qualities that could help keep introverts sober are:

  • Introverts are good listeners – Beneficial in rehab during support group meetings. Extroverts may go to support group meetings for more socialization, while introverts might be more focused on hear the message.
  • Introverts are more receptive to meditation – Being able to clear your mind and be one with yourself can go a long way. Meditation is a popular recovery option for many holistic therapies.
  • Introverts take time to reflect – Whether it is reflecting on your recovery or looking into a future decision, introverts with this ability are setting themselves up for a successful recovery.
  • Introverts are okay with being alone – If you enjoy and draw energy from being alone you are less likely to put yourself in risky social situations.
  • Introverts don’t need to party – Introverts do not need to go to big parties to have fun, which can help an addict in recovery. Extroverts in recovery may still feel they are missing out if they do not go to parties, this thinking could cause someone to relapse.

Knowing The Signs of Addiction

If you have a loved one who is an introvert, there’s a chance it could be more difficult to figure out whether they are using drugs or not, because they might naturally spend time alone. . Introverts also tend to be more reserved. Being high strung, talkative and antsy could be a personality trait, or conversely, there are similar crack addiction signs, which could even be confused with an extroverted personality. On the opposite end of the spectrum, introverted personality traits could be confused or blurred by with the reaction associated with drugs like marijuana or opiates (downers). Because of the distinction between personalities and the variety in drug highs, if an introverted person has a crack addiction, the signs might appear to be more obvious.

Basic Signs of Drug Addiction

  • Spending more amounts of money, or needing money
  • Health problems
  • Change in sleeping and eating patterns
  • Neglected appearance
  • Performance or attendance problems at school or work
  • Obsessive behavior

Treatment Options for Introverts

You may not find a public treatment facility for addiction to be suitable. As an introvert, it may be beneficial to receive your initial addiction treatment in a private one-on-one setting. This could allow you to connect deeper and share more personal issues that need to be addressed. Private addiction treatment and one-on-one counseling with a professional addiction counselor could be a great start. However, eventually, you will have to meet others during your recovery to share your story of strength and hope. This may seem like a difficult task, but you could have something to say that could change someone’s life, and in recovery helping others can be rewarding to you as well.

Dale is a writer and researcher in the fields of mental health and drug addiction. After a battle with addiction, Dale became the first in his family to earn his Bachelor’s degree and was able to find a job doing what he loves. Dale believes in writing about mental health and addiction to help get rid of the stigma associated with both. When not working you can look for Dale at your local basketball court.

Categories General
Tags : addiction
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How to Create an Introvert-Friendly Company Culture

by Guest
May 2nd, 2019

introvert friendly team

As introverts, we have a unique set of needs to thrive in the workplace. Also, just because we are introverts doesn’t mean that we can’t be a part of a dynamic team. We just need some balance, and employers who realize that will have better success at creating a diverse environment of employees that includes plenty of introverts.

Unlike extroverts, who thrive in large groups, introverts need a little alone time to recharge and refocus their energy. Socializing and interacting with others can be especially taxing for us. That doesn’t mean that we aren’t interested, or capable. It just means we need a different work environment to be the best that we can be in any professional role. One challenge for today’s employers is creating a workplace that supports varied personalities and working styles. Fortunately, the introverts are here to help! Keep reading to find out how you can make your office a more comfortable environment for everyone.

Create Structure in Day-to-Day Operations

Introverts struggle without structure. There is no need for military-level rigidity, but an office that has a structured workday and plans ahead is going to set everyone up for success. Not only is it unprofessional to take a more “fly by the seat of your pants” approach to running a business, but it can be especially taxing on employees. Offer structure in the work environment with things like:

  • Scheduling done well in advance: this includes work schedules, meetings, deadlines and due dates, and any other time-sensitive tasks or events. Last-minute meetings or schedule changes are extra stressful for introverts, who appreciate a good plan.
  • Structured meetings and activities: rather than an open-format meeting or round table setup, create an agenda for office meetings and other group activities. This gives introverts an idea of what to expect. It also helps you keep meetings and activities on-task and on-schedule, which is good for everyone.
To thrive professionally, introverts need a different work environment than extraverts.Click To Tweet

Offer Multiple Communication Tools

Believe it or not, some introverts love office life. They enjoy the group projects, the camaraderie, and other aspects of working with people. They just can’t always do it as much as extroverts. They also might need to do things in a different way to avoid over-stimulation, which is the primary reason introverts spend less time in group settings or “busy” situations.

When it comes to communication, versatility is a must. Some days, we might be fine to pick up the phone and make a call or speak up in a meeting. Other days, we might need the option of email or messaging, or a one-on-one meeting with our supervisor to discuss our ideas or express our needs. Make sure that your organization offers a variety of approved communication methods for employees, including options like:

  • Email
  • Phone
  • Chat or messenger services like Slack
  • Virtual and physical collaboration sessions
  • Group meetings
  • One-on-one meetings or brainstorming sessions

The goal is to ensure that all employees still feel supported, regardless of their chosen method of communication. As long as the means are appropriate for the topic or task, introverts shouldn’t be made to feel bad for choosing email or chat over stopping by a coworker’s desk to discuss a work project.

introvert friendly meeting

About Those Team-Building and Social Events

Tons of studies have shown the power of team-building activities for an organization. It’s no secret that getting coworkers together outside of the work setting creates a stronger bond that benefits the company. However, for the sake of the introverts, you have to again think about offering options. The best way to find out what works best for your staff? Ask them.

Today’s companies are often fast-paced, fun environments that focus on team bonding and social events outside of work. Some employees don’t have the energy at the end of a long work day to hit the bar or head to the baseball game with the team, and that’s okay. Firstly, make sure none of your employees ever feel bad or are “forced” into work-related social events. Secondly, find ways to create team-building activities and events that are more in line with their interests or offer a more relaxed environment.

Important Reminders:

  • Never make an employee feel guilty or judged for not participating outside of work
  • Never assume that because an employee leaves promptly at the end of their shift that they don’t care about their job. They may just be out of energy for the day.
  • If you don’t know what your employees want from team building and social activities outside of work, ask them.

Respect Introverts’ Need for Space and Privacy

This is really what it all boils down to when dealing with introverts. They just need a little more privacy and space than extroverts, and employers who realize that will capitalize on the potential of these capable employees. An introvert might need a dedicated office space with a door, or might not be as willing to mingle with coworkers throughout the day. Make sure they know that these things are acceptable.

Thanks to technology, catering to introverts by creating a versatile work environment is easier than ever. Studies have shown that the most productive employees are those who feel like they have some control over their work. Discuss options with your employees in an one-on-one setting, including flexible scheduling, occasional remote work, and other workplace privacy options that can provide a distraction-free environment.

The Bottom Line

With as much as 50% of the population considered to be introverts, employers would fare well to create a work environment that caters to these unique individuals. Our contemplative nature, combined with our love of solving puzzles and strategizing, can make us valuable assets to a number of industries and organizations. By optimizing your organization, you can capitalize on these and other strengths with the introverts on your payroll.

Jen McKenzieJen McKenzie is an independent business consultant from New York. She writes extensively on business, education, and human resource topics. When Jennifer is not at her desk working, you can usually find her hiking or taking a road trip with her two dogs. You can reach Jennifer @jenmcknzie

Categories Introverts at Work
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How to Succeed in Mental Health Treatment as an Introvert

by Guest
April 6th, 2019

therapyMental health challenges can affect anyone regardless of their personality type. Introverts and extroverts alike can succeed in therapy, but their communication and recharging methods differ in critical ways. Introverts must understand how to navigate treatment that requires them to recharge in a new environment or open up more than they want to. If you are an introvert new to mental health treatment or therapy, consider these tips to help you tailor your social interactions and make the most of your recovery.

Opening Up in Treatment

If you are nervous about therapy or attending a treatment center as an introvert, you have healthy options for respecting your own needs. Therapists are well versed in introvert preferences and are happy to support you if you communicate what helps you open up best. The same goes for inpatient treatment centers, which offer both group support and plenty of privacy for those wishing to receive treatment in peace. Regardless of your reason for receiving help, use these methods of opening up if you are an introvert:

  • Journal and share with your therapist
  • Ask to be connected with a support partner
  • Communicate if you feel overwhelmed or need a break
  • Ask for guided meditations
Introverts and extroverts alike can succeed in therapy, but their communication and recharging methods differ in critical ways. Click To Tweet

Recharging Alone

Some introverts are social, but all introverts need to recharge themselves at the end of it. Having privacy to reflect is especially important during a mental health treatment program so you can fully absorb what you learn without the social energy distracting you. Regardless of whether you live at home or temporarily at a center, make the effort to organize your home environment to make you feel relaxed. Work on developing these habits to improve your mental health and allow yourself to retreat into your space after a day of treatment comfortably:

  • Listen to calming music before bed
  • Disconnect from devices to reflect on your interactions
  • Journal your emotions
  • Stretch and focus on deep breathing
  • Cook or ask for foods that make you feel recharged

Making Connections

Introverts have no problem connecting with others, it is the quality and method of these connections that differs from extroverts. This matters in mental health treatment since you may be asked to connect with a therapist, support groups, staff at treatment centers, or to rethink relationships in your personal life. If this is the case, be sure to facilitate your connections in your own way (and at your own pace). Here are some introvert-friendly ways to focus on the quality of your connections in treatment:

  • Begin by sharing exactly what you’d like from an interaction
  • Don’t force it, you are free to take a step back and recharge
  • Take your time getting to heavy topics with small talk
  • Connect with others alongside activities

Try these ideas if you are an introvert new to mental health treatment. If you communicate your needs and recover in a way that supports your strengths, succeeding in treatment as an introvert is completely possible.

Adam Durnham

 

Adam Durnham is an introvert and freelance blogger who specializes in mental health and addiction recovery. You can find a lot of his work at Willow Springs Recovery.

 

Photo © photographee.eu / depositphotos

Categories Social Anxiety & Shyness
Tags : introversion, re-energize
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8 Small Talk Survival Techniques

by Guest
March 14th, 2019

How-to-Get-Better-at-Small-Talk

Let’s start with an uncomfortable truth: small talk is good for you.

It helps you to work. At least some small element of every job is social, and the more you know about your clients, colleagues, or audience – the more you intuit from the minutiae of banal interaction – the better you adjust to the project needs.

It makes you happier. Or at least, small talk may seem like torture at the time, but passing the time of day with a stranger gives a sense of fulfilment.

And it improves your well-being. We’re pack animals. Sure, we need to manage the booms and busts of our social energy – but in perpetual isolation, we wither.

Here’s another truth: you can’t avoid small talk forever! But small talk is not all born equal. The most torturous small talk is when neither party fully commits. On the other hand, take a deep breath and step right in – and you might just come out of it alive.

Small talk is not all born equal. Click To Tweet

For introverts, that’s easier said than done. Our brains aren’t excitedly wired for quick-fire chit-chat. But we have a secret weapon: preparation. Sure, you never know quite what subject or point of view is going to emerge in your next elevator encounter. But you can build a framework to deal with whatever comes at you.

The good people at OnStride have created a complete guide to doing just that: figuring out in advance how to survive and even benefit from small talk. Spend ten minutes going over it now, and that next 30-second elevator ride won’t feel like a lifetime!

Article by G. John Cole

G. John Cole

John writes on behalf of NeoMam Studios. A digital nomad specializing in leadership, digital media, and pets, his passions include world cinema and biscuits. A native Englishman, he is always on the move, but can most commonly be spotted in the UK, Norway, and the Balkans.

Website: gjohncole.com

Categories General
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Respecting the Space Your Introverted Friend Needs

by Guest
January 15th, 2019

Respecting the Space Your Introverted Friend Needs

Everyone has some introverted tendencies. Everyone likes to spend time alone and away from the constant interactions with others sometimes. For introverts, however, that need is a lot more frequent. If you’re friends with an introvert, it’s important to understand their needs. It’s about respecting the space they need to recharge and understanding that needing that space is not a reflection on you or how much they love you.

One of those boundaries has to do with having a controlled environment that they can escape to if they need to. Another is understanding that for an introvert, parties are not always going to be their thing. They may require more information about your social event in order to prepare. Being friends with an introvert has a lot to do with making some time that works for them — not just for you.

The Importance of a Controlled Environment

There are a lot of misunderstandings about introversion. Introverts aren’t always shy; they aren’t always anxious; they don’t always detest social situations. However, one thing that is true for introverts is that they feel the most comfortable and content in their own space to recharge from the rest of the world. This is why it’s important for them to have some control over their environment. This might mean a door they can close, a car available to leave, or a phone in their pocket when they need an unbothered minute in a social situation.

As a friend of someone who is introverted, it’s important to respect that need for a controlled environment. All that means is allowing them to get away, not bothering them when they need space, and understanding that the pop-in isn’t a great option when you want to see them. All it takes is a little communication and understanding on your part.

Parties Aren’t for Everyone

For an introvert, a party is like an emotional marathon. Even in a room full of their closest friends, an introvert may look at a big social gathering as something that will deplete them for days. There’s a lot of people, a lot of talking, and a lot of emotions tied into a social event of this magnitude. Though many introverts enjoy these social settings, that doesn’t mean it won’t still be draining on them. If they also battle social anxiety, they may worry about the proper etiquette in certain social situations. They may feel anxious about the people they don’t know, the games that they will be expected to play, or the draining small-talk discussions.

In order to respect the space your introverted friend needs, you’ll have to be understanding about the fact that parties aren’t for everyone. Your introverted friend may not want to come, may leave early, or may need you to stick close to them if you bring them into an unknown social circle.

Understand the Need for Information

Your introverted friend flourishes in their own environment. For this reason, a new environment can be stressful. This is why your introverted friend may have a lot of questions for you if they agree to join you in an activity, a social event, or even just a trip to your house. The reason for this is that more information helps them feel comfortable in a new setting. A controlled environment is comforting, so be sure to understand your introverted friend’s need for information. They need times, names of people, a heads-up if you’re going to be late or if any changes are happening, whose name the reservation is under, etc.

Even something as simple as eating at another home can be a source of discomfort for an introvert — especially an introvert who may also have anxiety. They may overthink sitting in the wrong spot or worry about not liking the food. There’s a whole psychology to food that everyone has, but for someone who is introverted, it can be really overwhelming to worry about offending someone or working through the social cues of a dinner party. Give your friend all the information they request, and don’t feel offended if they decide a social interaction will be too much for them.

Making the Right Kind of Time

Being friends with an introvert really means understanding the right kind of space your friend needs. It means understanding that they may not be at your parties or stay long at social functions, but they feel right at home having a movie night or coffee date with just the two of you. It means making the right kind of time for them. Introverts love deep conversations and relationships, not shallow ones. They love using their social time to make meaningful connections as opposed to top-level conversations they’d have at a party or large social event.

Introverts can be social people, but they also need solitude to recharge. This means finding the balance as their friend to give them the space they need while also spending time with them on mutually agreeable terms. Friendship is all about compromise and understanding, and being friends with an introvert is no different in that respect.

Introverts create energy on their own and in their solitude. Being social expends that energy, and being alone allows it to recharge. Extroverts, on the other hand, tend to get energy from the outside world. They expend that energy in their solitude. Being with others and interacting with the world allows them to recharge. Ambiverts do a little of both. If you’re friends with an introvert, it’s important to understand just how depleting the outside world can be for them. Introverts need you to respect the space they need while understanding that the space they need doesn’t mean they don’t adore time with you — it just means they need that time to recharge.


Chelsy RanardChelsy is a writer/blogger from Montana who graduated with her journalism degree in 2012. She is now a freelance writer in the beautiful city of Boise, Idaho. She is an animal lover, an advocate for mental health, and her hair is always a mess. Follow her on Twitter @chelsy5.


 

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