How to Make Your Home an Introvert Haven

by Guest
August 18th, 2017

How to Make Your Home an Introvert HavenBeing an introvert can be difficult, especially when everything around you feels so hectic and fast-paced. If you’re a homeowner or renter, you need to make your place as introvert-friendly as possible. If you can make your down-time as calm and peaceful as possible, engaging in more extroverted activity won’t seem as daunting once you make the plunge. Use thse ideas to make your house a haven, and to work your introverted nature to your advantage.

Keep Things Quiet

Introverts generally love quiet spaces at home, so it’s important to work to keep things this way. This might mean using noise-cancelling insulation, or investing in better quality windows that don’t allow sound to penetrate through as easily. Keep indoor noises to a minimum as much as possible. If you have noisy pets, like birds or dogs, consider moving them to a different room where they will still feel wanted, but won’t be so boisterous.

Add Security

One way to feel extra comfortable at home is to add a home security package or app. These packages enable you to keep your home fully secured and give you the peace of mind you need when at home alone or with a group of close friends or relatives. Nowadays you can improve your ADT security system with home automation. While these packages can be a bit pricey at first, they will be a great boon to you as an introvert. Some monitor the door, telling you who is there so you can decide if it’s worth the energy to socialize or not.

Keep Guests to a Minimum

Guests need to be kept to a minimum in order for your home to truly feel like a haven and relaxing place to enjoy your own company. Try not to make it a habit to invite people over in large groups, and keep gatherings to a minimum throughout the year. If you must invite guests over, it’s important you work to ensure they are not over for long periods of time, and that the parties are as quiet as possible. Create a schedule to yourself and limit guests or parties to just a few a month or year.

Rework Your Furnishings

One thing a lot of introverts don’t like is a lot of clutter. It can become incredibly overwhelming for anyone, especially introverts, to be in a house so overly cluttered and disorganized. In order to make things easier on yourself or a loved one, rework the furnishings so they look organized. Get rid of items and objects you both don’t need or use. Try to keep the home as tidy as possible, and consider investing in maid service or a self-cleaning vacuum to keep housework to a minimum for yourself.

The Right Temperature

Being an introvert means you might spend more time indoors. This is fine, so long as you’re totally comfortable at all times. One way to encourage more comfort is to invest in good quality air conditioning and heating that is easy to maintain and change. This allows you or your introverted loved one the ability to feel comfortable staying inside for as long as they’d like.

As an introvert, you want your home to be as comfortable, quiet, and safe as possible. This is easy to do if you put the right work into the process. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either, as you’ll find a quick tidy-over to your home and a reworking of your furnishings does an amazing job at getting the space to look clean and energizing.

Eileen O’Shanassy is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking, and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.

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Public Speaking: 6 Ways to Calm Your Nerves

by Hazel Thornton
August 8th, 2017

Do you ever have to teach a class? Make a presentation? Give an interview? Appear on radio or television?

As an introvert (especially if you are also shy), do you relish such public speaking opportunities? Are you always cool, calm, and collected? Ack, me neither!

If you’re anything like me your mind races with thoughts: How do I look? How am I going to sound? Why did I say yes to this? What if I don’t know the answer? What if nobody comes? When will it all be over?

We all have a choice: We can hole up in our homes where we are safe, and miss out on opportunities. Or, we can brave the outside world — for a little while — and benefit from all it has to offer.

Here are my 6 tips for calming your nerves before a public speaking event: 

  1. Know your subject. Usually if someone has asked me to speak to a group, or participate in a public forum, it’s because I am an expert on some topic in their eyes. They might be wanting to know about getting organized, or about a unique experience I’ve had. Sometimes, ironically, I speak about being introverted! It really helps if it’s a topic you are knowledgeable and passionate about, as described in this article. But, whether it’s a new or old topic, do your research, prepare, and practice. Just like everyone else prepares for an appearance.
  2. Dress comfortably. You want to look nice, sure. But if you don’t speak often, and don’t generally wear 3-inch heels and makeup, this might not be the best time to start. Your personality will shine if you aren’t worried about how you look, and how itchy that new sweater is that you forgot to try on in advance.
  3. Create a mantra and use it. Or use mine. I created this one for myself in college, to combat test anxiety. I call it “The 3 C’s”. Basically, I say this to myself: “I ____________ calmly, carefully, and confidently.” (Where fill in the blank can be take tests, make presentations, answer questions, etc. Whatever fits the situation at hand.) To elaborate, what I do is to breathe deeply between each phrase, and repeat the phrase 3 times, like this:

“I _____________ calmly,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “carefully,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “and confidently.” (deep, slow breath in and out)

“I _____________ calmly,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “carefully,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “and confidently.” (deep, slow breath in and out)

“I _____________ calmly,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “carefully,” (deep, slow breath in and out) “and confidently.” (deep, slow breath in and out)

That’s it. Don’t skip the deep breathing! (That’s probably the most important part.) I do this whenever I start feeling insecure about the upcoming event. I do it on the drive over to the event. Sometimes, if I need to, I excuse myself to the restroom to do it just before I’m “on”.

  1. Remind yourself, “It’s not about me.” They just want to know what your experience was like. Or, they just want to learn something from you. Or, they just want some useful tips and inspiration. Sure, they’re all looking at you, but they’re mostly concerned about themselves. Remind yourself, too, that if the event was advertised, and they knew who you were and still chose to come see you, they probably already like you!
  2. Think of a time when you were super-successful and felt really good about it. Bonus points if it had to do with a previous public appearance. Did you feel confident that time? Did you get a standing ovation? Did someone come up to you right afterward, or later, and tell you how much your comments meant to them? Do you have a photo of the occasion? If so, take it with you. Or, at least remember the occasion, and how it felt, in as much detail as you can summon, when you feel nervous.
  3. Imagine it’s just the two of you. I’ve heard that many of the most famous public speakers in the world are introverts. It sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? Who would want to talk to 20 people, much less 200 or 2000? But when you think about it, when you are in front of an audience, it’s just you and them, right? Think of it as two entities having an intimate conversation, not dozens or hundreds of entities. And this time (for the most part) you’ll have a chance to finish your thoughts without interruption!

Click here for some more tips from Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. I haven’t read them yet because I didn’t want them to influence my post. But I’m such a fan, how can they go wrong?

Do you think my tips will work for you?

How do you calm yourself before a public appearance?

Please share with us in the comments below!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

 

Categories Social Anxiety & Shyness
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What This Introvert Asks Herself Every Day

by Guest
August 8th, 2017

social anxiety

I’m sitting in a chair in my kindergarten class with my head in my hands, sobbing my little heart out. My class-mates are all around me with their heads tilted back with laughter.

This is my first memory, growing up, and it is the start of my years of bullying. It is also the point I noticed my social anxiety, not to mention the shyness I still deal with.

Being the victim of bullying for as long as I have, the effects of it are still prevalent in my personality. I’m the quiet type that rarely speaks up in class or even at my job in customer service.

How do you deal with social anxiety when it’s such a big part of your life for so long? Do you push it under the rug or do you do something about it?

Why can’t you be like other people who are happy to talk to people about mundane things? When we’re called on in class, why is our first reaction to become freaked out?

These are all questions I’ve asked myself during my journey of social anxiety. These are questions I know I may never get an answer to but I ask them in my mind anyway.

1. How do you deal with social anxiety when it’s such a big part of your life?

For me, social anxiety has been a part of my life since I was a young woman. I remember my father telling me about his own dealings with it as a child.

Recalling those conversations years later made me realize I have the same condition. He had told them to me as a young woman but I forgot about the conversation until I was a junior in high school.

By then, I had been dealing with the anxiety for a couple years. It came to life when I was first learning how to drive as a sophomore in high school.

I’ll never forget the stress of high school, nor the diagnosis of my anxiety disorder years later. It was after college that I got diagnosed but it stuck with me.

2. Do you push it under the rug or do you do something about it?

For me, the answer is rather obvious: do something about it. It took me years to do that but I put my foot down after those years. I couldn’t stand living with the anxiety any longer so I took action.

I now have a therapist I enjoy speaking to on a monthly basis. I also have medication for the first time in three years that hasn’t made me have adverse side-effects.

That was my one goal in all this: to find the middle ground I’ve heard so many stories about. It shouldn’t have taken this long but I took the road I needed to take.

3. Why can’t you be like extroverted people?

This question always baffles me, especially if it comes from other people. I’ve heard people ask me this quite often if I’m being especially quiet over a period of time.

It doesn’t particularly bother me but it does bring up a valuable discussion between us. We aren’t all wired the same. Some people prefer to be talkative while others don’t like to speak as much.

It’s alright to have days where you don’t text anyone, let alone call them on the phone. Extroverts might not realize how much anxiety it causes if the extrovert calls them.

This is especially true for me since I grew up in customer service. I had to answer the telephone for my parents’ small business, which exhausted me on a mental level.

I was never good at speaking to people over a telephone, let alone face-to-face. So the thought of answering a telephone for a living is a thought full of dread.

4. Why is my first reaction to stutter when I’m called on about something?

I can remember those times in class when I wasn’t paying attention and I’m called on by the teacher. He or she asks a question of me and I’ve heard half of it at most.

I don’t know the answer to the question and it’s killing me as I stall for time to answer it. I’m stuttering something unintelligible while I’m blushing like crazy.

I couldn’t be more embarrassed, especially when I ask the teacher to repeat the question. I realize I’ve stalled too long, which means the teacher must know it too. Why else am I getting that nasty face?

It brings the worst kind of shame to the anxious person if you’re calling them out for being so quiet. Chances are, you’re interrupting some sort of thought process.

We probably heard you the first time but we’re thinking about a way to answer you. Don’t make it worse by embarrassing us. I’m begging you!

The introvert may have heard you the first time but they’re thinking about a way to answer you. Don’t make it worse by embarrassing them. I’m begging you!

Lisa Fourman
Lisa Fourman is a freelance writer in the mental health niche and the founder of Mystique MGMT. She plans to use her brand as a vessel to make mental illness less of a taboo subject at the dinner table. You can visit her website at http://lisafourman.com.

Categories Social Anxiety & Shyness
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Seek and You Will Find (A Wife)

by Guest
July 24th, 2017

happy couple

A few years ago, I felt as though I’d never get married. I assumed my future wife and I would meet as we were going about our business. But no such meeting ever took place.

Then, I read something that radically changed my perspective:

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). That word find jumped out at me.

There are usually two ways you find something:

  1. You stumble upon it like you would a five dollar bill that’s laying on a sidewalk.
  2. You search for it like you search for your keys when you’re trying to leave for work.

While both are legitimate ways to find something, I couldn’t help but wonder if the second was the way I needed to approach marriage. Maybe I wasn’t finding a wife because I expected to randomly bump into her on the sidewalk when I should be actively looking for her.

Taking Action

A changed man, I did the first thing I could think of: I made a list. Since I make lists for everything else in life that I’m serious about, why not make a list of admirable girls?

Next, I picked up my phone and started calling. It was, at first, nerve-racking. I feared being rejected. But I’d also gotten to the point where I was more sick of waiting around than I was worried about whether or not a girl would reject me.

Ultimately, my list never produced – at least not in the way that I’d expected it to. All the ladies turned me down: “Oh, that’s so nice of you to ask… Actually, I’m busy that night (and every other night you want to hang out).”

Admittedly, I felt a bit discouraged. But I had gained invaluable knowledge: I learned where the dead ends were and, thus, stopped wondering and daydreaming about potential relationships. I, instead, reinvested my energies where I figured they’d yield the best results. What I learned was worth the effort.

The Payoff

But how did the list help?

Though it hadn’t produced a wife, my list was developing my character. Every time I called a girl, I strengthened my courage muscles. Active searching also prepared me for opportunities that weren’t even on my radar when I started out.

Unbeknownst to me, my dad had caught wind of an awesome girl. (Some friends from church had told him about her.) A few months earlier, I would have chickened out of meeting her. Now, however, I was a somewhat primed and willing to take a risk.

We eventually met, and, after about 15 months, got married.

My story boils down to a few gold nuggets.

Key Principles

1. Take action.

As an intuitive introvert, I tend to spend more time dreaming about the future than I spend taking action. I think, act, and then think, unlike extroverts who act, think, and then act. What I needed most was to “get out there” and do something. No amount of thinking alone could have changed my circumstances.

2. Get the car moving.

I’m an idealist. I want to know that the end will turn out picture perfect from the beginning. But that’s just not reality. Life is usually a series of pivots and course corrections on the road to a destination. It’s almost never a straight line. If you want to arrive at a destination – in this case, marriage – you have to get the car rolling, says author Jeff Goins. Then, and only then, you’ll be able to steer and course correct as necessary.

3. Don’t let negative feedback weigh you down.

Don’t let fear of rejection keep you from asking girls out. A “no” is as helpful as a “yes”. The sooner you find out who’s interested, the sooner you’ll be able to get to know her. Have an abundance mindset and remind yourself, as Michael Hyatt does, “There’s more where that came from.”

4. Opportunities will open up.

Our neighbor drives a Scion xB. I’d never seen that car before. However, now that I’m aware of it, I see it everywhere. The crazy thing about action is that it opens up opportunities. As soon as you make up your mind to go for a goal, you start seeing possibilities that you’ve never seen before, like seeing a new model of car that you’ve just become aware of. Your unconscious mind, and all your mental resources, work together on your behalf.

5. Network.

I’d likely still be single if it wasn’t for my dad and his friends. I knew a limited amount of girls. So, no matter how hard and long I worked to connect with them, my efforts could only go so far. But Dad’s friends new people I didn’t. And, in turn, their friends new still others. When my dad networked, he multiplied my chances for success.

If you want to get married, you need to take action.

What’s keeps you on the sidelines?

Bo Miller
Bo Miller is an introvert blogger, podcaster, and teacher, who’s also a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner. He blogs at I Speak People.

Bo has taught for 7 years and holds a Masters of Arts in Education.

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Networking for Introverts

by Hazel Thornton
May 19th, 2017

Networking Introverts

There’s no shortage of posts on the topic of business networking here on Introvert Retreat. Who wants to stand around making small talk in a noisy room full of strangers? Ack!

But I want to tell you about some recent experiences that indicate real hope for introverts!

I wrote a post – also called Networking for Introverts – for my own website, which covers the following topics:

  • The “Networking for Introverts” session I recently presented at my annual National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) conference in Pittsburgh, PA.
  • How it was inspired by Susan Cain’s TED Talk and her two books.
  • Why I now call myself a “professional introvert”, including a follow-up to my blog post here on Introvert Retreat called Introverts: The Next Generation.
  • TIPS for networking your way
  • TIPS for setting your own networking agenda
  • TIPS for introverts who are also shy
  • What Meyers-Briggs and rubber bands have to do with it.
  • How I was recognized — and surprised — in a BIG WAY for contributing quietly in my own little introverted way!
  • What makes the President of NAPO a true leader.

Ready to join me? Click here to read Networking for Introverts!

Please comment either there, or right here, below, and share your networking challenges and strategies with us.

Dare I ask you to comment in both places? Thanks!

Introverts Unite! Separately. In your own homes. LOL!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Categories Business Networking
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Spring is in the Air

by Janet
May 1st, 2017

first signs of springThis is one of my favourite times of year. After months of short, cold, grey days, it’s so energizing to see the sun more and more and for longer stretches of time.

It’s so easy to go into hibernation during the winter months when you work from home, especially if you’re inclined to introversion as it is. But once the spring comes, who can resist setting work aside, even for half an hour, to get out and enjoy the fresh air?

Yesterday the twig was brown and bare;

To-day the glint of green is there;

Tomorrow will be leaflets spare;

I know no thing so wondrous fair,

No miracle so strangely rare.

I wonder what will next be there!

 

L.H. Bailey, American horticulturist, botanist and cofounder of the American Society for Horticultural Science (1858-1954)

What’s your favourite season, and why?

Categories Contemplation
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A job interview toolkit for introverts

by Guest
January 30th, 2017

If you consider yourself to be an introvert, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that the job interview process is designed to make you fail. An introvert processes their experiences internally: rather than bouncing ideas and responses off the people around you, you probably prefer to quietly contemplate new information by yourself and to respond to it in your own good time. It doesn’t sound ideal when you’re up against an interview panel, does it? Well, good news: being an introvert, you have plenty of other positive traits with which you can balance your approach to the process.

For example, as an introvert you are likely better at connecting with individuals than with groups. Because a panel is usually only a small ‘group’ of two or three people, you can demonstrate your engagement and your personal skills by making a connection with each of them individually, rather than playing to the crowd. You can already see how this may be more impressive than the extrovert approach of treating the panel as a multi-headed monster!

The good people at CashNetUSA have identified a whole toolkit of such approaches to help introverted candidates make the most of their special powers when they’re most needed. Check it out ahead of your next interview, and you’re sure to turn up primed to wow your potential new boss.

Introverts Guide to Job Interviews

About the author: Marilyn Vinch

Marilyn is London-based freelance writer who enjoys writing (and reading!) about the challenges small businesses face, human resources, leadership, personal growth, and working smarter. She is a digital nomad who loves travelling and immersing herself in different cultures. Follow her on Twitter: @mary_vinch

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Categories Introverts at Work
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Alternatives to Bragging for Introverts

by Guest
December 17th, 2016

womanWhether it concerns getting ahead on the job or attracting clients, most people associate marketing oneself with bragging. On the surface, this makes perfect sense. How else could you call attention to your virtues, talents and capabilities than by talking them up in a prideful way?

This seemingly obvious point gets introverts in particular into a mental tangle. We want recognition and rewards. But this appears to require self-promotional behavior that doesn’t fit our reserved personality. Introverts are never the ones who raise our arms and voices around strangers, proclaiming “Look at me!” or “Aren’t I the greatest?”

As a marketing consultant who regularly helps quiet, competent experts explain what they have to offer, let me describe several ways to undo this mental knot. You can help others appreciate your intelligence, deftness, creativity, years of experience or other superior qualities without being obnoxious or self-important. Try some or all of these techniques.

Let others do the talking

When someone who isn’t related to you praises you, it’s highly credible in most cases. And while it may cause you to blush, that’s not bragging. Introverts in business usually can bring themselves to ask for and use testimonials and endorsements. One way to pose the request: “I’m revising my website [or bio], and I wonder if you would write a few sentences about what it’s like to work with me [or about the results you’ve gotten from working with me]. Thanks!”

In conversation, you can take the boastfulness out of anything complementary you might say about yourself by putting it in terms of “People say that I…” Some people I know sidestep bragging by networking in pairs, with each one introducing the other when they meet new people. Claudia enjoys expressing her admiration of Robert in that setting, and vice versa.

Use the third person

In writing, you get some psychological distance from discussing your accomplishments when you talk about “he” or “she” rather than “I.” Many introverts find it easier to compose a strong, persuasive bio if they write as if it’s about someone they know well, not quite themselves.

I don’t recommend using this technique in conversation, however. You’ll seem stuffy, imperial or downright bonkers if you talk about yourself by your name.

Highlight facts and credentials

You may have heard the saying, “If it’s true, saying so isn’t bragging.” Introverts will feel more comfortable sharing items of information that are incontrovertible facts, such as degrees earned, awards won, firsts achieved, years in the field and so on. These contrast with subjective claims like “best at knitting” or “most knowledgeable accountant.”

accomplishment

Show, don’t tell

Sometimes you can keep quiet and let a demonstration do the talking. I will never forget an eight-minute video I watched of a business coach uncovering a lifelong issue a client hadn’t realized about herself and pointing the way toward the client resolving it. “What incredible skill that coach has,” I thought.

Besides videos, demonstrations can take the form of written case studies or articles.

Create a context that is larger than yourself

Frame your achievements as the success of a cause, if that applies, rather than a halo for you as an individual. For example, “For more than 15 years, I’ve worked hard to make sure that children in my community have enough to eat.” Or, “My third novel helped people understand the social, psychological and familial impact of long-term unemployment.”

Be visible

People assume that the one who shows up repeatedly is the one who knows their stuff. If you are the one who answers questions knowledgeably on forums or discussion lists or at company strategy sessions, folks take note. The same principle applies if you lead committees, do media interviews, put together position papers or spearhead a community change project.

Once someone who called me up to hire me as a consultant explained, “I heard about you twice in one day, from different people, so I knew you were the one I needed to work with.”

Change your mindset

Often introverts freak out at the prospect of promoting themselves because they assume it requires them to turn into a gasbag, a loudmouth or an egomaniac. Think of it instead as simply providing information that enables others to make up their minds about you. By following the methods above, you can do this both inoffensively and in a way that enables you to receive your fair share of society’s rewards.

Marcia YudkinSince 2010, veteran marketer and author Marcia Yudkin has focused on advocating for introverts, explaining how to promote oneself without hype, manipulation, name-dropping or braggadocio. She is the author of 6 Steps to Free Publicity, Persuading People to Buy and numerous other books, as well as the ebook, audiobook and online course “Marketing for Introverts.”

Marcia’s No-Hype Marketing Academy: http://courses.yudkin.com/
Twitter: @marciasmantras
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/marciayudkin
Website: http://www.yudkin.com

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8 Pro Tips for Introverts

by Guest
November 23rd, 2016
introvert alone time

Photo © Theodor38 | Dreamstime Stock Photos

If you search the Internet on how to deal with living as an introvert, you will quickly find millions upon millions of results with some great (and some bad) tips. While dealing as being an introvert can be hard and stressful, it doesn’t have to be if you’re willing to apply a few pro tips I’ve used in the past. Using these tips will allow you to help better understand yourself and even enjoy life a bit more.

#1 Understand your brain chemistry

To make things short, studies have shown introverts are sensitive to dopamine, and when we get too much, we tend to feel a bit overstimulated. The most dominant pathway will be acetylcholine, the part of us which affects our learning and attention; it can also help us sustain a calm and alert feeling. Extroverts, on the other hand, have a lower sensitivity to dopamine and won’t get enough unless they get help from their adrenaline system. The lesson here is to understand your brain chemistry and know what’s causing you to be you. I could go on and on, but like school, take the time to educate yourself about your situation because it will make you feel a lot better – trust me.

#2 Recharge the right way

Introverts will need a quiet space to recharge their brains and comprehend all the events they saw for the day. You may read that some say to recharge in a stimulated environment, but this, as you know, probably won’t help much. Don’t force yourself into a situation where you feel uncomfortable; instead, pick a place that’s comfortable for you.

#3 Lose the negative meaning

Look up the word “introvert” and what you do see? For example, if I Google it, I see “A shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person.” We all know this isn’t true. Try to lose this negative association, and again, follow the first pro tip – know it’s in your brain chemistry. Don’t let a definition define you. You are who you are.

#4 Educate yourself

I highly recommend the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. She does a wonderful job explaining how your brain chemistry works and will do a lot better than job than I can do in a few hundred words. By educating yourself, you learn more about what it means being an introvert and how your body works. Also, there are a lot of tips, information and advice you can apply in life. Again, educating yourself is a very powerful thing to do.

#5 Schedule downtime in your life

It’s okay to have downtime in your life where you do absolutely nothing. Each week, try to create a schedule where you will be able to do just this. On this day, you can do anything from sleeping in bed all day or reading a book. Remember, this is just a day to unwind, helping restore your natural energy. If people don’t understand it, let them know this is a way to help you feel great again.

#6 Noise-cancelling headphones

Need I say more? If you don’t have a great pair, I would suggest buying a set. This is a great way to drown out the sounds around you, no matter where you may be.

#7 Know when to break

Yes, parties and noisy events aren’t your thing – that’s fine. While most can handle these situations for a limited time, you will want to make sure you know where your quiet place is no matter where you’re going. For example, if you’re at a sporting event, is there a lobby or quiet eating area nearby? If you know where these places are ahead of time, it will make it easier for you to escape for a bit.

#8 Don’t apologize

Lastly, don’t feel as if you have to explain your situation every time you’re out – most people won’t get it or listen anyways. If you feel you want to leave something, just do it; no one is stopping you. You never have to feel as if you have to explain or apologize because doing so will just make the situation worse.

Stephanie Lynch
Stephanie Lynch is an introvert who has converted her lifestyle to work from home, giving her the opportunity to work in peace and enjoy the finer things in life. You can check out her project here.

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Introverts: The Next Generation

by Hazel Thornton
November 18th, 2016

Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of IntrovertsYesterday I was privileged to be interviewed by five 8th graders as part of their Inquiry Project Living Library experience. In preparation, the students dedicated class time to self-reflection and exploration of their own identities and interests; selecting a focal point as an inquiry question; learning research methods; writing open-ended questions; and preparing in other ways for the interview. The next step for each of them is to prepare and give a presentation of their findings to students, teachers, and families.

So what did they interview me about? Being an introvert! Who knew that if you Google “Albuquerque” and “Introvert” you get me?! Their teacher saw my webpage and noticed that, in addition to being an introverted local business owner (I was described as such once in our local newspaper), I have a background in fine arts and engineering. She thought I would be perfect for her students with similar interests, who self-identified as introverts.

What introverted kids are wondering

Here are some of their questions:

  • Are introverts or extraverts more likely to play sports and, if so, what sports?
  • How is introvertendness/extravertedness related to cat/dog ownership? (LOL!)
  • How does being a reader and an introvert affect me in social situations?
  • Are there more introverted musicians/artists than extraverted musicians/artists?
  • What are the benefits and drawbacks of being an introvert?

We discussed the continuum between introvertedness and extravertedness; how introversion is not the same thing as shyness, but some people are both; how introverts can participate in group activities such as team sports but may prefer individual sports and activities; how important it is for readers to have a book handy at all times, but to also tear oneself away from reading occasionally and interact with real people; that it’s OK to decline or leave a social situation early in order to recharge one’s batteries; etc.

I don’t know who was more nervous, them or me? Can you imagine interviewing a grown-up as a kid? Yikes! A friend remarked that we must have had a great time. My reply:  “No, we were are all introverts. Therefore, none of us would call it ‘a great time’! Talking to strangers, are you kidding? LOL! But they did a great job of interviewing me, and I got to give back a little bit to my community.”

Hope for future introverts

Who knew kids were learning about, and identifying as, introverts? I wish teachers had known to do this when I was a kid! Another friend observed: “How great for them to see that being an introvert is simply one way that a successful adult can be, and that there can be coping strategies to help introverts in an extrovert’s world.” Yes. Exactly.

While preparing for the interviews (I was given some of the questions in advance) I learned that there’s a kid/teen version of Susan Cain’s book, called Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts. Of course, I told the kids about the book, and also about Susan Cain’s TED talk, The Power of Introverts. (They were all familiar with TED talks! I know lots of adults who, when asked, have never heard of TED talks.)

Run, don’t walk, to buy this book for your introverted kids!

Hazel Thornton is the introverted CEO (Chief Executive Organizer) of Organized For Life in Albuquerque, NM, and the author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life.

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