Networking for Introverts

by Hazel Thornton
May 19th, 2017

Networking Introverts

There’s no shortage of posts on the topic of business networking here on Introvert Retreat. Who wants to stand around making small talk in a noisy room full of strangers? Ack!

But I want to tell you about some recent experiences that indicate real hope for introverts!

I wrote a post – also called Networking for Introverts – for my own website, which covers the following topics:

  • The “Networking for Introverts” session I recently presented at my annual National Association of Professional Organizers (NAPO) conference in Pittsburgh, PA.
  • How it was inspired by Susan Cain’s TED Talk and her two books.
  • Why I now call myself a “professional introvert”, including a follow-up to my blog post here on Introvert Retreat called Introverts: The Next Generation.
  • TIPS for networking your way
  • TIPS for setting your own networking agenda
  • TIPS for introverts who are also shy
  • What Meyers-Briggs and rubber bands have to do with it.
  • How I was recognized — and surprised — in a BIG WAY for contributing quietly in my own little introverted way!
  • What makes the President of NAPO a true leader.

Ready to join me? Click here to read Networking for Introverts!

Please comment either there, or right here, below, and share your networking challenges and strategies with us.

Dare I ask you to comment in both places? Thanks!

Introverts Unite! Separately. In your own homes. LOL!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

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Spring is in the Air

by Janet
May 1st, 2017

first signs of springThis is one of my favourite times of year. After months of short, cold, grey days, it’s so energizing to see the sun more and more and for longer stretches of time.

It’s so easy to go into hibernation during the winter months when you work from home, especially if you’re inclined to introversion as it is. But once the spring comes, who can resist setting work aside, even for half an hour, to get out and enjoy the fresh air?

Yesterday the twig was brown and bare;

To-day the glint of green is there;

Tomorrow will be leaflets spare;

I know no thing so wondrous fair,

No miracle so strangely rare.

I wonder what will next be there!

 

L.H. Bailey, American horticulturist, botanist and cofounder of the American Society for Horticultural Science (1858-1954)

What’s your favourite season, and why?

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A job interview toolkit for introverts

by Guest
January 30th, 2017

If you consider yourself to be an introvert, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that the job interview process is designed to make you fail. An introvert processes their experiences internally: rather than bouncing ideas and responses off the people around you, you probably prefer to quietly contemplate new information by yourself and to respond to it in your own good time. It doesn’t sound ideal when you’re up against an interview panel, does it? Well, good news: being an introvert, you have plenty of other positive traits with which you can balance your approach to the process.

For example, as an introvert you are likely better at connecting with individuals than with groups. Because a panel is usually only a small ‘group’ of two or three people, you can demonstrate your engagement and your personal skills by making a connection with each of them individually, rather than playing to the crowd. You can already see how this may be more impressive than the extrovert approach of treating the panel as a multi-headed monster!

The good people at CashNetUSA have identified a whole toolkit of such approaches to help introverted candidates make the most of their special powers when they’re most needed. Check it out ahead of your next interview, and you’re sure to turn up primed to wow your potential new boss.

Introverts Guide to Job Interviews

About the author: Marilyn Vinch

Marilyn is London-based freelance writer who enjoys writing (and reading!) about the challenges small businesses face, human resources, leadership, personal growth, and working smarter. She is a digital nomad who loves travelling and immersing herself in different cultures. Follow her on Twitter: @mary_vinch

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Alternatives to Bragging for Introverts

by Guest
December 17th, 2016

womanWhether it concerns getting ahead on the job or attracting clients, most people associate marketing oneself with bragging. On the surface, this makes perfect sense. How else could you call attention to your virtues, talents and capabilities than by talking them up in a prideful way?

This seemingly obvious point gets introverts in particular into a mental tangle. We want recognition and rewards. But this appears to require self-promotional behavior that doesn’t fit our reserved personality. Introverts are never the ones who raise our arms and voices around strangers, proclaiming “Look at me!” or “Aren’t I the greatest?”

As a marketing consultant who regularly helps quiet, competent experts explain what they have to offer, let me describe several ways to undo this mental knot. You can help others appreciate your intelligence, deftness, creativity, years of experience or other superior qualities without being obnoxious or self-important. Try some or all of these techniques.

Let others do the talking

When someone who isn’t related to you praises you, it’s highly credible in most cases. And while it may cause you to blush, that’s not bragging. Introverts in business usually can bring themselves to ask for and use testimonials and endorsements. One way to pose the request: “I’m revising my website [or bio], and I wonder if you would write a few sentences about what it’s like to work with me [or about the results you’ve gotten from working with me]. Thanks!”

In conversation, you can take the boastfulness out of anything complementary you might say about yourself by putting it in terms of “People say that I…” Some people I know sidestep bragging by networking in pairs, with each one introducing the other when they meet new people. Claudia enjoys expressing her admiration of Robert in that setting, and vice versa.

Use the third person

In writing, you get some psychological distance from discussing your accomplishments when you talk about “he” or “she” rather than “I.” Many introverts find it easier to compose a strong, persuasive bio if they write as if it’s about someone they know well, not quite themselves.

I don’t recommend using this technique in conversation, however. You’ll seem stuffy, imperial or downright bonkers if you talk about yourself by your name.

Highlight facts and credentials

You may have heard the saying, “If it’s true, saying so isn’t bragging.” Introverts will feel more comfortable sharing items of information that are incontrovertible facts, such as degrees earned, awards won, firsts achieved, years in the field and so on. These contrast with subjective claims like “best at knitting” or “most knowledgeable accountant.”

accomplishment

Show, don’t tell

Sometimes you can keep quiet and let a demonstration do the talking. I will never forget an eight-minute video I watched of a business coach uncovering a lifelong issue a client hadn’t realized about herself and pointing the way toward the client resolving it. “What incredible skill that coach has,” I thought.

Besides videos, demonstrations can take the form of written case studies or articles.

Create a context that is larger than yourself

Frame your achievements as the success of a cause, if that applies, rather than a halo for you as an individual. For example, “For more than 15 years, I’ve worked hard to make sure that children in my community have enough to eat.” Or, “My third novel helped people understand the social, psychological and familial impact of long-term unemployment.”

Be visible

People assume that the one who shows up repeatedly is the one who knows their stuff. If you are the one who answers questions knowledgeably on forums or discussion lists or at company strategy sessions, folks take note. The same principle applies if you lead committees, do media interviews, put together position papers or spearhead a community change project.

Once someone who called me up to hire me as a consultant explained, “I heard about you twice in one day, from different people, so I knew you were the one I needed to work with.”

Change your mindset

Often introverts freak out at the prospect of promoting themselves because they assume it requires them to turn into a gasbag, a loudmouth or an egomaniac. Think of it instead as simply providing information that enables others to make up their minds about you. By following the methods above, you can do this both inoffensively and in a way that enables you to receive your fair share of society’s rewards.

Marcia YudkinSince 2010, veteran marketer and author Marcia Yudkin has focused on advocating for introverts, explaining how to promote oneself without hype, manipulation, name-dropping or braggadocio. She is the author of 6 Steps to Free Publicity, Persuading People to Buy and numerous other books, as well as the ebook, audiobook and online course “Marketing for Introverts.”

Marcia’s No-Hype Marketing Academy: http://courses.yudkin.com/
Twitter: @marciasmantras
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/marciayudkin
Website: http://www.yudkin.com

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8 Pro Tips for Introverts

by Guest
November 23rd, 2016
introvert alone time

Photo © Theodor38 | Dreamstime Stock Photos

If you search the Internet on how to deal with living as an introvert, you will quickly find millions upon millions of results with some great (and some bad) tips. While dealing as being an introvert can be hard and stressful, it doesn’t have to be if you’re willing to apply a few pro tips I’ve used in the past. Using these tips will allow you to help better understand yourself and even enjoy life a bit more.

#1 Understand your brain chemistry

To make things short, studies have shown introverts are sensitive to dopamine, and when we get too much, we tend to feel a bit overstimulated. The most dominant pathway will be acetylcholine, the part of us which affects our learning and attention; it can also help us sustain a calm and alert feeling. Extroverts, on the other hand, have a lower sensitivity to dopamine and won’t get enough unless they get help from their adrenaline system. The lesson here is to understand your brain chemistry and know what’s causing you to be you. I could go on and on, but like school, take the time to educate yourself about your situation because it will make you feel a lot better – trust me.

#2 Recharge the right way

Introverts will need a quiet space to recharge their brains and comprehend all the events they saw for the day. You may read that some say to recharge in a stimulated environment, but this, as you know, probably won’t help much. Don’t force yourself into a situation where you feel uncomfortable; instead, pick a place that’s comfortable for you.

#3 Lose the negative meaning

Look up the word “introvert” and what you do see? For example, if I Google it, I see “A shy, reticent, and typically self-centered person.” We all know this isn’t true. Try to lose this negative association, and again, follow the first pro tip – know it’s in your brain chemistry. Don’t let a definition define you. You are who you are.

#4 Educate yourself

I highly recommend the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain. She does a wonderful job explaining how your brain chemistry works and will do a lot better than job than I can do in a few hundred words. By educating yourself, you learn more about what it means being an introvert and how your body works. Also, there are a lot of tips, information and advice you can apply in life. Again, educating yourself is a very powerful thing to do.

#5 Schedule downtime in your life

It’s okay to have downtime in your life where you do absolutely nothing. Each week, try to create a schedule where you will be able to do just this. On this day, you can do anything from sleeping in bed all day or reading a book. Remember, this is just a day to unwind, helping restore your natural energy. If people don’t understand it, let them know this is a way to help you feel great again.

#6 Noise-cancelling headphones

Need I say more? If you don’t have a great pair, I would suggest buying a set. This is a great way to drown out the sounds around you, no matter where you may be.

#7 Know when to break

Yes, parties and noisy events aren’t your thing – that’s fine. While most can handle these situations for a limited time, you will want to make sure you know where your quiet place is no matter where you’re going. For example, if you’re at a sporting event, is there a lobby or quiet eating area nearby? If you know where these places are ahead of time, it will make it easier for you to escape for a bit.

#8 Don’t apologize

Lastly, don’t feel as if you have to explain your situation every time you’re out – most people won’t get it or listen anyways. If you feel you want to leave something, just do it; no one is stopping you. You never have to feel as if you have to explain or apologize because doing so will just make the situation worse.

Stephanie Lynch
Stephanie Lynch is an introvert who has converted her lifestyle to work from home, giving her the opportunity to work in peace and enjoy the finer things in life. You can check out her project here.

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Introverts: The Next Generation

by Hazel Thornton
November 18th, 2016

Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of IntrovertsYesterday I was privileged to be interviewed by five 8th graders as part of their Inquiry Project Living Library experience. In preparation, the students dedicated class time to self-reflection and exploration of their own identities and interests; selecting a focal point as an inquiry question; learning research methods; writing open-ended questions; and preparing in other ways for the interview. The next step for each of them is to prepare and give a presentation of their findings to students, teachers, and families.

So what did they interview me about? Being an introvert! Who knew that if you Google “Albuquerque” and “Introvert” you get me?! Their teacher saw my webpage and noticed that, in addition to being an introverted local business owner (I was described as such once in our local newspaper), I have a background in fine arts and engineering. She thought I would be perfect for her students with similar interests, who self-identified as introverts.

What introverted kids are wondering

Here are some of their questions:

  • Are introverts or extraverts more likely to play sports and, if so, what sports?
  • How is introvertendness/extravertedness related to cat/dog ownership? (LOL!)
  • How does being a reader and an introvert affect me in social situations?
  • Are there more introverted musicians/artists than extraverted musicians/artists?
  • What are the benefits and drawbacks of being an introvert?

We discussed the continuum between introvertedness and extravertedness; how introversion is not the same thing as shyness, but some people are both; how introverts can participate in group activities such as team sports but may prefer individual sports and activities; how important it is for readers to have a book handy at all times, but to also tear oneself away from reading occasionally and interact with real people; that it’s OK to decline or leave a social situation early in order to recharge one’s batteries; etc.

I don’t know who was more nervous, them or me? Can you imagine interviewing a grown-up as a kid? Yikes! A friend remarked that we must have had a great time. My reply:  “No, we were are all introverts. Therefore, none of us would call it ‘a great time’! Talking to strangers, are you kidding? LOL! But they did a great job of interviewing me, and I got to give back a little bit to my community.”

Hope for future introverts

Who knew kids were learning about, and identifying as, introverts? I wish teachers had known to do this when I was a kid! Another friend observed: “How great for them to see that being an introvert is simply one way that a successful adult can be, and that there can be coping strategies to help introverts in an extrovert’s world.” Yes. Exactly.

While preparing for the interviews (I was given some of the questions in advance) I learned that there’s a kid/teen version of Susan Cain’s book, called Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts. Of course, I told the kids about the book, and also about Susan Cain’s TED talk, The Power of Introverts. (They were all familiar with TED talks! I know lots of adults who, when asked, have never heard of TED talks.)

Run, don’t walk, to buy this book for your introverted kids!

Hazel Thornton is the introverted CEO (Chief Executive Organizer) of Organized For Life in Albuquerque, NM, and the author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life.

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4 Myths About Introverts

by Guest
November 14th, 2016

People often think of introverts as socially awkward people who tend to stay by themselves and avoid other people. While people may not think of an introvert as being an extremely happy or friendly person, they are probably assumed to be smarter and more creative than extroverts. Despite its frequency among people, introversion is one of the most misunderstood personality traits. Here are some debunked myths about introverts.

1) All introverts are shy.

Shyness may be confused with introversion, but they are very different from each other. While introversion is defined as gaining energy by spending time alone, shyness refers to a discomfort and sense of anxiety in social situations. Introverts are commonly confident around people, but just require more solitude to create a balance in their energy.

shy

Certainly some introverts are shy, but not a disproportionately high percentage. Conversely, some extroverts may lack confidence or display a shy personality, making it difficult for them to seek the interaction they so desperately need.

2) Introverts do not like people.

friends

Although introverts enjoy solitude, that does not mean they are antisocial. They simply enjoy social interaction differently than extroverts. Many introverts enjoy the company of other people, but they usually look for quality over quantity when it comes to relationships, choosing a small circle of intimate friends.

3) Introverts are negative.

Introverts are often thought of as being negative or depressed, due to their attraction to being alone. This myth may come from the fact that in contrast, extroverts gain energy from social interaction, and may become sad when they are alone.

alone

Alternatively, many introverts don’t associate solitude with loneliness. However, although introverts are not necessarily more likely to be depressed, they do spend more time analyzing situations, which may lead to rumination, and possibly depression. Psychology Today has this article on social thresholds and how introverts and extroverts respond to excess of opposite energy stimuli.

4) It is easy to spot an introvert.

Many introverts love talking to people, but they also look forward to restoring their energy by being alone. Because our culture rewards extroverted personality traits, introverts often behave like an extrovert when in social situations.

It is important to remember that some introverts enjoy people and socializing. While this may be done in a different way than extroverts, don’t assume your introverted friends don’t want to be included. If you are an introvert, you may be used to feeling like you are misunderstood by other people and having your tendencies misinterpreted for rudeness or shyness. Additionally, if you are an extrovert, you probably have a few misconceptions about people who tend to be more quiet.

Rachael Murphey is an entrepreneur in Denver CO and a writer on social science, family finance, and leadership. She has written for HostReview.com, Spider Vein Removal Austin, Doable Finance, and HR.com.

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Why Introverts Make Great Leaders

by Guest
September 14th, 2016

quiet leadershipThe words “introvert” and “leader” do not often go hand-in-hand. If you were to look at any online personality test or profile, it almost always suggests that the leader position is reserved for the extrovert. However, this assumption is not supported by historical facts or with any real evidence in general.

The truth is that introverts can make excellent leaders in their career of choice. Of course, they have their own obstacles to overcome that are unique to their situation and personality, but overcoming such obstacles actually strengthens their leadership skills. Here are a few of the key reasons why introverts can make such great leaders.

Thought Precedes Action

A leader must constantly make important decisions. Decisions that affect not only themselves, but their followers, team members, and company. Extroverts do think before making decisions, but rarely with the same degree of determination as an introvert.

An introvert feels most at home in solitary thought. Thus, they excel when it comes to the decision-making process. They will take the time needed to consider a decision deeply and all of the possible outcomes of their action. Only after taking the time to think will they take action, which is why their actions often prove beneficial for their team and company.

Leaders That Can Follow

Most people assume that introverts take the position of follower while extroverts take the role of leader. To a small degree, that is true. Introverts almost always have the capacity to be a follower, but that does not mean they should not be in the lead. A great leader must also be a great follower.

Introverts understand the position and mindset of their followers or team members. This allows them to show empathy. This empathy also allows them to step back for a moment and give their team members a chance to lead.

Letting team members lead, allows for new and unique ideas. It also helps strengthen the leadership skills of the team members. After all, some of them may be leaders in the future.

An Introvert Knows How To Listen

A great leader needs to have the ability to listen intently. This means listening to followers, team members, customers, and even leaders that are above them in the company. A leader must be able to take in all of this information and create solutions that appeal to as many people as possible.

Introverts are hardwired to listen more often than speak. They then use everything they have heard during their decision-making process. This leads to results that please multiple parties rather than just one or the other.

Finally, they also have the ability to engage in deep and meaningful conversations thanks to this listening capability. By doing so they are able to identify problems that were not originally on the surface, thus improving the decision-making process significantly.

Introverts are no less capable of being great leaders than extroverts. As a matter of fact, their unique personality traits make them ideal leaders. They are great listeners, empathetic towards their team members and take the time to think carefully before making decisions.

Andrea TaylorAndrea Taylor is the Coaching Support Director at http://www.lifecoachhub.com a site that networks life coaches with individuals looking to make improvements in their own personal and professional lives. The site provides useful information, advice and tips about life coaching, as well as providing a platform where coaches can network, start or continue to develop their own business.

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Why Introverts Make Great Public Speakers

by Guest
August 14th, 2016
Janet Barclay speaking at POC Conference 2015

Janet Barclay

If you were to list out the characteristics that most of us believe that a really good speaker must have in order to communicate the importance of public speaking, what would be on your list? I can only speak for myself, but I believe that I would have on my list that they would need to be an extrovert – an outgoing person who is always giving off lots of energy. You need this in order to connect with your audience, right? I’d be wrong. It turns out that introverts, those people who are more inwardly focused and less outwardly focused, can make really great speakers. Let’s find out why…

The Ability To Listen

In this context I sorta hate to admit this, but I believe that I am most defiantly an extrovert. What this means is that I really like to talk. Sometimes this is not a good thing – I tend to talk over people and don’t take enough time to listen to what they have to say. Introverts have a special skill – they happen to be very good listeners.

What this means is that when they are preparing to give a speech, they can use their listening skills to create a better speech. As they gather the information that they’ll need to create their speech, introverts take the time to listen to differences in opinion. This allows them to find the best solution, even if it turns out to be one that they didn’t suggest themselves.

For an introvert, it’s not all about listening. Instead, listening is where it starts. Once they’ve heard what someone has to say, an introvert will take this information and analyze it. They’ll consider all of the facts as they process what they’ve been told. The end result of this will be a well-thought out set of ideas that can be worked into their next speech.

Good At Sharing Both Ideas And Successes

Introverts are also very good at sharing both success and praise and this allows the audience to feel like they have been included in the speech. It’s not all about the speaker and this is what opens the door for the audience to feel as though the speaker is revealing things that they have learned to them instead of telling them things that they should already know.

What makes introverts especially good at collecting the information that they’ll need is that they don’t often feel threatened. They don’t feel threatened if their ideas are not the ones that the group decides to use and they are not threatened by high performers who may take up a lot of the conversation.

Introverts are able to move beyond themselves and instead focus on the issue that they’ll be building their speech around. Introverts are able to spend their time thinking about what their audience wants to accomplish. They don’t get hung up on the process that is going to be required in order to get there.

Willing To Take The Time Needed To Think

All too often we can find ourselves rushed to reach conclusions. These are the conclusions that then find their way into our speech that we then share with our audience. Introvert speakers don’t have this problem. They take their time and they think about what is going to go into their speech.

All too often, when we are collecting information for a speech we can be swayed by the person that we talk to who dominates a group discussion. An introvert has the ability to overcome this issue. They’ll take what they’ve heard and then they’ll take the time to sift through all of it in order to find out what it really means.

Introverts need an opportunity to go to a quiet place where they can ponder what they have been told. This allows them to both create solutions out of the information that they have gathered and to recharge themselves. It’s this kind of internal balance that will allow a great speech to be created.

What All Of This Means For You

Public speaking is the process of one person opening up and sharing their speech with an audience. We view this process as being the very definition of being an extrovert and so we assume that only extroverts would be any good at sharing the benefits of public speaking. However, it turns out that introverts have a number of key characteristics that make them very good at giving speeches.

Introverts possess the ability to do a good job of listening. Because introverts take the time to both listen and then think about what they’ve heard, the speeches that they deliver often talk directly to the issues that the audience is dealing with. When creating a speech, the introverted speaker collects ideas and successes from those around him or her. This means that their speech is about the issue and not them. Finally, creating a great speech takes time. Extroverts spend a lot of time thinking about how they’ll deliver the speech. Introverts spend their time thinking about what they’ll deliver.

In this world, it takes all types of people in order to give good speeches. Extroverts are often passed over when picking someone to give a speech. Perhaps we should not do this. Introverts have the ability to create a unique type of speech that can really connect with an audience.

About the Author

Dr. Jim Anderson
“America’s #1 Unforgettable Business Communication Skills Coach”
http://www.blueelephantconsulting.com
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Dr. Jim Anderson Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9131124Do you give speeches today, but want to learn how be more effective? Dr. Jim Anderson believes that great business skills are no substitute for poor presentation skills. Dr. Anderson will share with you the knowledge that he has gained while working to improve the speaking ability of both individuals and teams of speakers for over 20 years. Learn the secrets of effective speakers and really connect with your audience during your next speech.

If you want to follow Dr. Anderson on Twitter, he can be found at: http://twitter.com/drjimanderson

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9131124

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Unique Travel Ideas for Introverts

by Hazel Thornton
February 27th, 2016

Shakespeare-and-Company-bookstore-380x253What is your idea of a great vacation and/or travel destination?

I was featured in an article on this topic, but I didn’t share it with anyone because I thought my comment was edited too much, making me sound like an idiot. But now I’m sharing it with you.

Here’s the article: 23 Unconventional Places Introverts Would Love To Travel

I’m #21: Living at the Famed Shakespeare & Co Bookstore in Paris. (Which I’ve actually visited, decades ago. It was the first time I’d ever seen a bookstore cat.)

“If you feel like talking, there is an endless supply of interesting people. If not, you can just sit and read”, says Hazel Thornton.

So, what’s wrong with that? My name is spelled right, and it links to my website and everything. But it neglects to mention that “living” in this famous bookstore is a real thing, and not just a flight of fancy! My full comment was:

Become a “Tumbleweed”, living (in exchange for working a little) at the famed Shakespeare & Co Bookstore in Paris, France. If you feel like talking, there’s an endless supply of interesting people to talk to, and if you don’t you can just sit and read. And, well, it’s Paris!

Here’s the article that inspired me: What It’s Like to Live Inside the Legendary Paris Bookstore Shakespeare & Co.

Now it’s your turn: Where would you, as an introvert, love to travel? Share with us in the comments below!

If you’re short on ideas, read the article for 23 great ones. Or, if you prefer, feel free to describe your perfect staycation.

Hazel Thornton is the introverted CEO (Chief Executive Organizer) of Organized For Life in Albuquerque, NM, and the creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection (For You), and Custom-Branded Clutter Flow Charts (For Your Business).

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