Among my introvert pastimes is a radio show on Monday evenings, featuring a French priest on Bible studies. I’m not particularly religious, but I like the Bible and I am absolutely a sucker for a beautiful voice. This priest’s voice is a little bit of heaven. I’m there every Monday evening enjoying my quiet time with the radio.

In January, he apologized for his voice. He had caught the flu. Oh, what a terrible flu! Of course he turned this to good account, because we’re studying the Book of Job. He could relate to how Job felt and suggested that we could, too.

He went on to tell us of the most unfortunate moment, on a Sunday morning, when he was so sick that he couldn’t fulfill his responsibilities at the monastery where he lives. He explained (in French) that he is “responsable du chat” - responsible for the cat. He was so sick that he could not meet this responsibility.

And yet, how charming of those priests to make this poor (old?) man feel useful - they put him in charge of the cat. It’s sad and sweet, in a way. And then the poor soul got sick and couldn’t look after the cat, how awful. He felt that he’d let the Community down. Another priest commiserated with him and said, much like one of Job’s comforters, ”If you’d looked after yourself you wouldn’t be sick.” Which made him feel even worse.

And then I realized.

He didn’t say “chat” - he said “chant.”

He’s not responsible for the cat - he’s responsible for the Gregorian chant - the choir.

Oh. Nevermind.

Many people, when introduced to the concept of introversion, automatically think of “shyness.” Although it’s true that many introverts are shy, not all introverts are shy, and extraverts can be shy as well.

In her book “The Introvert Advantage” Marti Olsen Laney defines introversion as:

… a healthy capacity to tune into your inner world… a constructive and creative quality

and shyness as:

…social anxiety, an extreme self-consciousness when one is around people… lack of confidence in social situations… fear of what others think of you

She goes on to explain that introversion is who you are, and that shyness is what you think other people think you are.

I am definitely introverted, but I don’t think I am shy. Some people considered me shy as a child, but I now think they just didn’t recognize or understand introversion, as others called me gregarious. In fact I appear quite reserved, but once I start talking, I usually won’t stop until interrupted. And as I’ve mentioned before, I am not usually reluctant to share personal information if I’m asked a direct question.

Since starting my own business, it’s become necessary for me to step out of my comfort zone and act like an extravert on more occasions, such as when attending networking events, and as a result, those situations are not as difficult for me as they were in the past. What has not changed, however, is my introversion. I still enjoy working alone, can focus on a task for long periods of time, and prefer communicating by email over using the telephone, and those traits are not likely to change, ever.

How Do You Market Yourself When You’re Not an Extrovert?
by C.J. Hayden, MCC

It seems that the vast majority of marketing advice is aimed at extroverts. “Go to networking mixers and meet new people,” the authorities say. “Make cold calls.” “Speak in front of groups.” “Call people up and chat with them about what’s new.”

If you are an introvert, these experts might as well be telling you to fly to the moon. What if you don’t enjoy large gatherings, hate to call strangers on the phone, dislike being the center of attention, and loathe small talk? Can you still do well at marketing?

First, it may help to recognize that being an introvert is not a disorder, nor is it unusual. Introversion is simply a personality type. It’s been estimated that introverts make up 25 to 50 percent of the population. Many of us have both introverted and extroverted qualities, so finding alternatives to extroverted marketing can be helpful even if you are not a true introvert.

Introverts are often defined as those who gain energy when alone, but lose it when interacting with others, while extroverts are exactly the opposite. Introverts tend to be quieter, more deliberate, and enjoy solitary activities or being with just one person instead of a group. The typical introvert prefers deeper conversations to small talk, and often likes to listen more than to speak.

So how can an introvert do well at marketing? Effective marketing does require talking to people, and there’s no getting around that. But the good news is that most introverts DO like talking to people, they just don’t like doing it with total strangers or in noisy crowds. Trying to force yourself to participate in activities that make you uncomfortable will usually backfire. Instead, identify your own personal comfort zone and try to work from within it.

For example, a client of mine felt uncomfortable at business networking events but enjoyed attending small, casual get-togethers. She always thought her problem was that she didn’t like being in large groups, so she avoided them completely. But when we looked together at exactly what was making her uncomfortable, it turned out that her real dislike was for the “mixer” atmosphere and not the groups themselves.

My client enjoyed sitting with a few people and speaking with them about what was going on in their lives or businesses. But she didn’t enjoy standing around chatting about the weather or the food. So the next time she attended a networking event, she found a table where several people were sitting and joined their conversation. Just the act of sitting down made her more comfortable, and she connected with several new people she was able to talk to at length.

In creating your own marketing plan, pay attention to where you fall on the introversion / extroversion continuum when choosing what to do and how to do it. Here are some suggestions for adapting typical marketing activities to a more introverted personality.

1. Attend with a friend. When planning to attend a networking meeting or social event where you hope to mingle with prospective clients, invite a friend or colleague to go with you. Agree that you will help each other to meet new people. Introduce your companion to anyone you already know there and ask him or her to do the same. Choose in advance some intriguing topics for conversation, and invite others you meet to discuss these issues with the two of you.

2. Seek out structure. Many introverts abhor mixers but enjoy meeting people in more structured environments such as leads groups or workshops. Look for groups where the meeting format allows each person time to introduce themselves formally, or builds networking exercises into the program. You may find that it’s easier to talk about yourself when there is a specific time allotted for just that purpose.

3. Avoid the crowds. Mingling at events may not be an environment where you do your best. Instead of trying to meet people in group settings, do your networking one-on-one. Arrange to meet with people for coffee or lunch to get to know them better. When you run out of people you already know to meet with, ask a friend or colleague to set up a three-way meeting with someone they know.

4. Prepare what to say. Whether you are attending an event or placing a follow-up call, most introverts find it helpful to plan out in advance what they want to talk about. This type of preparation gives you time to reflect on what you wish to express and explore the best way to say it. A short list of topics for discussion or questions you want to ask, kept in your pocket or by your phone, may help you feel more grounded in your conversations.

5. Write instead of call. It’s true that it’s usually more effective to contact prospective clients by phone than by email or letter. But if calling makes you uncomfortable enough that you tend to simply avoid it, go ahead and write instead. You’ll probably find writing notes and letters more productive when you use them to follow up with prospects who already know you than if you try to approach strangers that way. To reach out to those you haven’t met, you may need to…

6. Establish connections. Approaching people who have never heard of you to ask for their business is not a requirement for successful marketing. In fact, introductions and referrals will open many more doors than cold calls. Ask friends and colleagues to introduce you to people who might need your services, and spend time getting betteracquainted with others who serve your target market. These collegial conversations will be both more comfortable and more effective.

7. Promote by publishing. The focused, reflective nature of many introverts makes them excellent writers. Writing and publishing articles, a blog, reports and studies, or even a book can attract many prospective clients and boost your credibility. When clients come to you already acquainted with your work instead of you approaching them as a stranger, marketing conversations become more relaxed and intimate — just what most introverts like.

There’s one area of marketing at which introverts often shine.

While extroverts typically enjoy meeting new people and find it relatively effortless to fill their marketing pipeline, they don’t always do well at following up with the people they meet. Introverts, on the other hand, frequently excel at building strong relationships over time.

If you focus your marketing on staying in touch with people and getting to know them better instead of continually trying to seek out new contacts, you may find that your introverted style of marketing works better than what the extroverts are doing after all.

Copyright © 2006, C.J. Hayden

C.J. Hayden is the author of Get Clients Now!™ Thousands of business owners and independent professionals have used her simple sales and marketing system to double or triple their income. Get a free copy of “Five Secrets to Finding All the Clients You’ll Ever Need” at www.getclientsnow.com.

Thank heaven, a blizzard at last. Now it’s really winter. Actually, I don’t enjoy winter. It’s just that winter is the time when I can blend in with others so easily. I’m not the only one without a tan, or tan-lines. I can go shopping and not be the only pale person in the store. In the summertime people notice and glance again at my pale skin. I must look recently-released or something. The other thing about winter is that lots of people are lying around with a good book, just like me. It’s winter – I’m mainstream!

“Sturdy (5 ft. 7 in., 164 lbs.), soft-voiced Martin Luther King describes himself as ‘an ambivert—half introvert and half extrovert.’ He can draw within himself for long, single-minded concentration on his people’s problems, and then exert the force of personality and conviction that makes him a public leader.”

TIME magazine, February 18, 1957.

As important as the introvert-extravert parts of the personality are, we need to remember that it is the interaction of all parts of the personality that makes us who we are and affects our interactions with others. A goal of Jungian therapy is to help the individual integrate the parts of the personality. We all have all the parts within us - we just don’t use some of those parts.

How we use the parts is what differentiates us. Introverts know they view the world differently. Extraverts may have trouble understanding, but introverts know. What they may not know - or understand - is the impact of the other functions.

A big difference is a result of the Thinking/Feeling function. That is how we evaluate information. Feeling doesn’t mean “emotion” but “is it pleasing or not.” Thinking types feel; feeling types think. But they do it so differently that the terms don’t have the same meaning to the opposite. Thinking types are going to focus on facts while feeling types will be asking “do I like it or not?”

If you add the way we get information (sensing or intuiting), it is a wonder that we can communicate at all. A sensing thinking type may notice a house on a hill, the sensing feeling type will wonder who would use that color on a house, the intuitive thinking type will be planning how to improve the scene, and the intuitive feeling will write a story from the house’s perspective.

According to the article Eastern philosophy helps create productive office space, “An introvert will find clutter or too many colors distracting.” I agree that I find it challenging to work in a cluttered office, but I thought this was more due to my “SJ” tendencies.

After sharing a home computer with kids, and later teenagers, and a workspace with someone for whom clutter was a way of life, I find it very refreshing to have my own space that I can keep as neat as I want (or not)!

There was an article in the July/August 2006 issue of Panorama (the official publication of the Hamilton Chamber of Commerce) called Winning with People: 3 Critical Etiquette Tips to Keep You and Your Company on Top.

Tip #2 reads as follows:

BE RESERVED. Don’t be too eager to grab the spotlight. Ambition is fine, but no one likes a show-off. Modesty will get you more attention in the long run than loud, expressive, rude or offending behaviour. I’m not saying you should downplay or ignore your achievements; just don’t boast when you do speak of them.

I really appreciated this, since it’s not often that introverted traits are described as being desirable in business!

Introverts give energy to other people. Extraverts receive energy from other people. That’s the whole thing in a nutshell.

That’s why introverts run out of energy at gatherings. It’s also why extraverts gain energy as the gathering progresses.

Are extraverts vampires? Nope. Are introverts wimps? Double nope. It’s just the way we’re made. Hard-wired is a popular term these days. I think it applies here. Though I would be surer if I were a techie.

Written by Cheryl N.W. Card, the full title is Discover the Power of Introversion: What Most Introverts are Never Told and Extraverts Learn the Hard Way.

The book begins by stating that many Introverts have been extremely successful, including US Presidents, corporation presidents, scientists, and actors, and a later chapter names some famous Introverts, living, dead, and fictional.

It includes tips for creating positive self-image, dealing with Introvert children, and making decisions, building satisfying relationships

Each chapter includes an introversion-related quote - here’s one I really like:

They mean well but they are so social they are nearly hive-minded. They cannot understand that one might wish to be without company.

Wintermoon, in Winds of Change by Mercedes Lackey

It’s only 85 pages, including the Appendix, so it’s a quick and easy read.