I certainly enjoyed my visit to this site

I am an introvert who is 31 years of age and only recently became aware of the fact that there is a category/name for individuals like myself. For years I incorrectly assumed that I was overly shy, insecure, fearful of people, unconfident. While those may have been former elements of my personality, they were not the underlying traits. Unfortunately I was also under the impression that something was wrong with me, I figured I had a problem which could be and had to be fixed, and if I simply overcame what I thought to be shyness/fearfulness I would have conquered this oddity, fit in, and developed the desire to socialize and network with others. If only I knew I didn’t have a issue, and I didn’t need to fix or change anything I probably wouldn’t have beaten myself up all these years and tried so hard to fit in and force myself to attend events and blend into the social scene – I also would have chosen a less team oriented/service based career path
Awareness is key, and now that I’m aware I embrace my introvertedness (my sense of joy and peace in solitude, unusual interests, thirst for in depth knowledge wisdom and understanding, quirks :).
The only concern I have is that as an introvert I am often times be misunderstood. Those who are not familiar with the profile of an introvert tend to develop and inaccurate opinion. Some labels are: anti-social, depressed, personality problem… When on the contrary I am very personable, and although seldom I do like to get out and have a good time with others. I engage in enjoyable conversations when approached, but I am simply not interested in developing or maintaining a relationship with that individual thereafter and that might be taken personally, when it’s not in the least. I guess I just have to get use to it.

I appreciate the comment given above and, indeed, applaud the author of this web page. For a very long time I have tried (with much unhappiness experienced in the process) to ‘fit in’ with work crowd and even the social crowd. Being an original INTJ under the Myers Briggs profile, I’ve been rather misunderstood and labelled the ‘troubleshooter’ in work situations. I get wheeled in when an autonomous and entrepreneurial/creative figure is required and then dropped when the extroverted mob moves in. Forgive the rather jaundiced approach but having now understood myself, I realise, like the earlier comment, that I have been beating myself up for years for just being me. Not asking for mass change, just thanking you for being there now because now is all we have and I can appreciate being an introvert when amongst others who understand.

Hello fellow introverts.

I recently realized that i was one through a roommate situation.

I started living with someone who enjoyed talking alot and alot of activity,etc, and i found i treasured quiet and time spent alone.

The other guy was very surprised i turned out this way.

When in my presence he would talk nonstop, invade my personal space, and interrupt me when i am trying to relax alone.

It was enough to drive me nuts!

He would even talk to me when i am trying to use the computer, breaking my concentration.

[...] bloggers at Intovert Retreat have posted a glowing description of the introvert temperament.  Mel, the blogger at Mental Indigestion, compiled an excellent [...]

Like Tricia above, I’ve spent way too much time, money, and energy trying to “fit in” thinking there was something “wrong” with me. Finding this site and the one that linked me here has taken a huge weight off my shoulders after years of beating myself up for not being able to be the way everyone around me expects or wants me to be.

I’ve always known I was introverted, but I never grasped the depth of what that really means, and it’s always been conveyed to me as something “bad” that needs to be “fixed” because I’m anti-social, not outgoing enough, not patient, too outspoken when I do speak, not “soft” or “loving” enough and that there was something terribly wrong with me because I cannot stand large gatherings, I totally HATE being the center of attention, don’t even get me started on when something good happens or a birthday comes around and every time it makes me get angry and want to run and hide because a well-meaning friend wants to have a surprise party or a big celebration and can’t grasp what’s “wrong” with me and of course then that’s all taken personal and causes even more hassle and strife… (when my first graphic novel got published I felt good enough about it and a lot of arguments followed because I didn’t want to go have a big party and celebrate and sign books… to me, it got published that was accomplishment enough but I always beat myself up for not “wanting” to do these celebratory things)

Message to Jacqui - you just saved my day! It’s my birthday today and I’ve been beating myself up all morning because every time the phone rings or someone texts or e-mails to wish me Happy Birthday I feel a mixture of panic, dread, irritation and most of all GUILT because I wish they would all just go away…… which makes me ungrateful and undeserving of the lovely friends and family I have I know.

I’ve known for a long time that I’m an introvert - quite an extreme one. But unfortunately over the years I think I’ve managed to develop some pretty good social skills, so a lot of friends and family probably don’t know it and think of me as quite sociable and (hate the word) ‘bubbly’. So now there’s a complete mis-match between my outer and inner personality. I’m not quite sure what to do about that. Any suggestions? Can you come ‘out’ as an introvert?

I have tried to accept my personality over the years, and not beat myself up too much about it. But I do worry a lot about offending people - by refusing invitations, or not always responding to phone calls etc. Is that an acceptable characteristic of introversion, or just bad manners?? I never mind if people don’t want to go out, forget/ignore my birthday/Christmas, don’t return calls or stay in touch - but I’m pretty sure that’s not the standard view of the world.

i’m not sure where i fit sometimes. i generally like to hang out with only one, maybe two others. i don’t love chatting on the phone. words sometimes slip through my grasp, despite having a very active and analytical mind. i don’t always feel listened to and it bothers me. i speak quietly too, which doesn’t help. i’ve found myself in a management role recently and feel confident in what i do but still, sometimes, when new “charmers” work their way up the ladder quickly it can bug me too. i feel like it’s contrived. i feel like there are ways i should work harder though, at making a stronger impression, at being louder and being “bubbly” even though i do usually flash a smile. i’m eager to find out more about this..and where i fit…maybe starting with the myers-briggs is the bast place? i noticed there’s a test for managers. (: