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Packing Tips for Introverts

by Guest
February 26th, 2018

baggage

If you’re an introvert heading to a conference, family reunion or vacation with friends, a few well-chosen items in your baggage can go a long way toward protecting your energy levels and increasing your enjoyment of your trip. Here are ten to consider:

  1. Snacks: Larger hotels usually offer a good choice of healthy food, but if you’re attending a smaller event, you may find coffee and donuts are the only options. To avoid a sugar crash, pack snacks which travel well, like apples or small bags of nuts.
  2. Herbal tea or packets of hot chocolate: A comforting drink will help you relax at the end of the day or any time you feel frazzled. If there’s a pod-style coffee maker in your room, use one of the herbal tea pods and then save it for re-use with your own tea bag or hot chocolate powder.
  3. A few home comforts like cozy socks, an eye mask and ear plugs. Your downtime will feel more relaxing if you bring small, familiar items with you.
  4. Comfortable shoes: If it’s safe to leave the venue for a short walk, you’ll get a double boost from the fresh air and solo time.
  5. Headphones: Aside from listening to soothing music or following along with a meditation app, headphones are an effective signal to others that you’re not open to conversation right now.
  6. Headache pills: As an introvert, you may find extended high-energy interactions trigger headaches. Pop a few over-the-counter pills in your bag, just in case. And if you’re prone to migraines, don’t leave home without your preferred medications.
  7. A soothing scent: Slip a scented sachet of lavender, chamomile or bergamot into your pocket and you can take an aromatherapy break whenever you feel impending overwhelm. If you’d like to make your own, there are plenty of instructions online for combining rice and essential oil in a fabric pouch.
  8. A shortlist of people you’d love to connect with: At a professional event, focus on quality over quantity. Identify in advance 3-5 people you’d love to meet and aim for a short, meaningful conversation. Don’t feel you have to chat with hordes of new contacts.
  9. Items which show, rather than tell: For a professional event, bring business cards as a minimum. But if you have brochures, books or small products, be sure to carry them with you. Your “exhibits” move the focus away from you and onto the benefits you can offer. For a social reunion, a few photos can be a helpful way of bringing others up to date.
  10. A quiet pastime: For a social gathering, consider bringing something which encourages activity instead of mere talking. A jigsaw puzzle, for example, allows friends or family to assemble and collaborate, but lowers the buzz to a level introverts may find more sustainable.

You may not want to bring all ten items along on every trip, but thoughtful packing can preserve both your stamina and sanity, enabling you to get the most out of your stay. I’d love to hear what other self-care items you include in your kit.

Pauline Wiles
Pauline Wiles
is an author, Anglophile and serenity seeker. An unapologetic introvert, she believes self-awareness is the foundation of happiness.

Download your free “Perfect Day” Workbook at http://www.paulinewiles.com/serenity-project/

 

photo credit: Holiday Gems UK

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Tips for Introverts to Thrive at Networking Events

by Guest
January 27th, 2018

handshakeIf the thought of attending networking events make you physically sick to your stomach you will likely find any excuse to avoid them. It’s almost certain you will find yourself attending such a social event as you navigate your professional and personal life. Whether you are introverted or not, lots of people are not comfortable with public speaking but most do not suffer from the introvert’s level of social anxiety.

Approaching networking events tactfully and strategically will certainly garner you valuable experiences and relationships. The first step is to have a premeditated plan requiring research of the venue, subject matter, and guest list. Utilizing LinkedIn, Twitter, and other social media platforms it is quite easy to do surface level research about nearly every professional. This research will not only allow you to more easily recall names once introduced, you will also be able to brainstorm possible talking points. Once prepared, the event will be far less stressful and you can focus on your body language, compliments, and location during the event.

After the event comes important but often overlooked step, follow up. If you had any memorable conversations or actionable relationships, make sure you are fresh in their mind. Even introverts can come to master networking events. If you want to become a more effective networker as an introvert, put these tips from GetVoIP into action.

Tips for Introverts to Thrive at Networking Events

Photo by TeroVesalainen / Pixabay

Drew Page

 

Drew is a content marketing specialist focused on creating amazing content for businesses, entrepreneurs and employees to thrive.

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How to Use Introversion as a Secret Weapon in Your Career

by Guest
October 9th, 2017

How to Use Introversion as a Secret Weapon in Your CareerWhy is it that only extroverts get to enjoy professional success? Extroversion is only one side of the same potentially valuable coin of personal energy utilization, and discouraged introverts are falling to the wayside. Rise up, introverts! Here are some of the most effective ways in which your unique perspective can help you become more professionally successful.

Self-reflection

Being an introvert immediately gives you a greater capacity to reflect on yourself and figure out more valuable things about the way that you fundamentally work as a human being. In your solitude, you can come to a greater understanding about the machinations of your mind and how they can culminate into the kind of habits that are conducive to success.

Productive down-time

The time that you spend on your own doesn’t have to be time that you spend just sitting on your hands and staring at the wall. While you are recharging and alone with your thoughts, you can productively use that time to get things done that you may not have been able to during the bulk of the day. From chores around the house to personal creative projects, indulging your introversion with a little bit of alone time can be great for getting more done.

Better listening skills

Because introversion means that you are less focused on just getting all of your words out into the air, being a good listener will come more naturally to you. While a lot of extroverts are talented at getting people engaged in their interesting stories, people appreciate a person who makes them feel interesting even more. As an introvert, you have an innate power to validate people with the feeling of being around someone who really cares about what they have to say; in many cases, this will make them want to interact with you even more.

Mindfulness

Though many extroverts can have a very energizing aura, one of the downsides of always being “on” as the center of social attention is that it can steal attention away from the little important things. Introversion lends itself to mindfulness, giving you a greater ability to step back and become fully cognizant of the minor elements in your surroundings and your state of mind. Through mindful inward analysis of your environment, you can potentially gain an even greater ability to thrive in it than you would if you tried to actively control it with overwhelming outward energy.

Summary

Nowhere in a set of leadership program requirements will you find extroversion as a prerequisite for career success — only a “drive for upward career mobility” (WGU). Mindfulness, productivity, listening skills, and self-reflection are all powerful tools of the successful introvert. Just as extroverted people can utilize their personality to leverage more connections in their careers, introverted people are just as capable of using their unique disposition to benefit themselves professionally.

Shae Holland
 
Shae Holland
is a single mother and professional copywriter. She’s passionate about healthy living, loves hunting, and adores her ​two springer spaniels.

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5 Reasons Getting an Online Masters Degree is the Best Choice for the Working Introvert

by Guest
September 25th, 2017

online educationToday, if you want to earn a master’s degree there are several ways to go about it. One option is to take courses online. For an introvert who works at a full-time job, taking classes online may seem like a dream come true. Consider five reasons why earning an online master’s degree is an excellent option for an introvert who’s holding down a full-time job.

Learn at Your Own Pace

When extroverts socialize, they get a surge of energy from the interaction. However, for introverts, it’s just the opposite. Socializing drains the energy of an introvert. The back and forth discussions that take place in a traditional classroom tax an introvert’s supply of energy.

Online courses take this sort of interaction out of the equation. Plus, students can learn independently at their own pace. If a student doesn’t understand a portion of a lesson, they can review it over and over again until it’s clear. When that happens, the student can move on to tackle the next lesson. This type of learning makes it easier for an introvert to get the most out of each class in a master’s program.

Study Independently

In a traditional classroom, an introvert may feel obligated to join a study group or go to the library to pair up with another student in the same course. Sometimes, the distraction of fellow students in a study group can detract from an introvert’s ability to absorb lesson material.

In an online course, students usually study independently because there aren’t many (if any) other students nearby. They also don’t have to worry about classes conflicting with work schedules. This independent study means they can dictate how fast they progress on various lessons, and they’ll have better success at earning a master’s degree.

Avoid Traveling to a Traditional School

One of the biggest advantages of earning a degree online is students don’t have to get into the car and drive to a school. Instead, someone earning an online master of business administration degree can simply participate in class from a quiet room at home or in a study room at the local library.

All the student needs is a suitable learning environment with reliable access to the Internet. In addition to being convenient, an introvert with a full-time job doesn’t have to spend time on the road commuting to work as well as to school and juggling classes with their job. They can spend more time on studying.

Get Questions Answered Promptly

Asking questions about a lesson, homework or a chapter in a textbook can help clarify confusing topics in a course. In a traditional classroom, you might wait until the class period is over to ask the instructor a question, not wanting to draw attention to themselves. But if you’re in an online course, you can ask questions at any time. Send an email or even ask questions via private message. Getting prompt answers helps students move through the material at pace with the instructor.

Conserve Energy for Study Time and Work

Socializing with other students in a traditional classroom can drain a lot of energy from an introvert. Taking online courses to earn a master’s degree allows you to focus on learning as much as possible, when you can. In a way, online learning streamlines the process of earning a degree, especially for individuals who work full-time.

Finally, choosing to earn an online degree can help an introvert or any other professional move up in their current occupation. It can also be the first step on a new career path in the field of your choice. Online learning puts a master’s degree within reach of more people than ever before.

Claire Stewart
Claire Stewart
is a freelance writer and blogger focused on writing about health, travel, and business among other topics. She graduated from Washington State University and currently lives in Seattle with her goldfish, Merlin. Follow her on Twitter: @clairestewart08

 

Photo credit: Mr_Stein Online Test = Open CHEAT! via photopin (license)

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Are You Being Taken Advantage of? How Introverts Can Stand Up for Themselves

by Guest
September 15th, 2017

Are You Being Taken Advantage of How Introverts Can Stand Up for ThemselvesThere are a lot of introverts out there who do not reveal themselves to people often. This is perfectly normal. You are who are you, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t stand up for yourself. Being an introvert can sometimes make it hard to fight back if you are being taken advantage of, but the following tips may help give you some agency and the confidence to stand up for yourself.

Digital Wall

One of the easiest things you can do is use what might be called a “digital wall”. The internet has given introverts the opportunity to speak about their issues with someone or a situation online without confronting someone face to face. You can send a mass email or an email directly to the person causing trauma to express how the issue is affecting you. Hopefully, your sincere words will make this person or group of people understand. Heading off a conflict directly is usually the best way to resolve it. Don’t be afraid to use a digital screen to approach problems face on.

Helping Hand

Most people have someone they can turn to. This is a mediator of sorts, and you probably have someone like this that you can turn to. You want to talk to this person if you feel like you are being taken advantage of. This person should be able to bring up the issue on your behalf to see if the problem can be resolved with a simple conversation. Mediators are there to break the ice and make it easier for you to talk. If you can, use a good friend as a mediator if you don’t have anyone who can speak for you.

Professional Assistance

It is important to recognize when it is time to take serious steps against someone who might be abusing you. It might not be easy to confront this person, but you can simply talk to a professional. For example, you might approach your HR department first or talk to your boss before confronting an abuser. This person is going to be your shield and your voice, so you want to make sure it is someone you can trust and someone you can give evidence to.

Slow-Burn Boost

Asserting yourself as introvert takes time because it can be hard to believe in yourself. One thing that an introvert can do to empower him or herself is to take self-empowering classes. For example, you can take kick-boxing classes or other self-defense classes. These types of lessons help an introvert find courage from within, which may help you stand up for yourself later on. This may take some time to develop, but it should be worth it.

Hopefully, these tips help guide you in the right direction. Granted, these are just some of the things you can do to stand up for yourself, but there are others. You can talk to life coaches or others with life experience to help unlock the hidden power within you.

Eileen O'Shanassy
Eileen O’Shanassy
 is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking, and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.

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How to Make the Most of Meetings if You’re an Introvert

by Guest
August 29th, 2017

team meeting

Do you ever struggle to contribute during meetings? Do you wonder how to talk more?

When I first started at my current job several years ago, I had the hardest time chiming in during meetings. While my colleagues were exchanging and evaluating ideas, I sat quietly. I was engaged, and I was listening, but I seldom spoke up for one of two reasons: I either couldn’t think of anything to say during the meeting, or I didn’t know how to jump into a faced-paced conversation.

As a result, I left many meetings wondering what people thought of me and wishing I’d said more. The frustrating thing was that as soon as I’d return to my workspace a flood of ideas and insights related to what was discussed would rush into my mind.

It can be hard to be the introvert in a meeting. You know you have valuable ideas and insights, but the environment makes sharing difficult. Fortunately, there are few hacks that’ll significantly improve your meeting experiences.

Do you want to know how to talk more during a meeting? Find out how to share more of your ideas and insights with your team when you’re all together.

1. Prepare in Advance.

One of the best ways you can improve your meeting experiences is to prepare in advance. It doesn’t have to take a long time either. Five to ten minutes will usually suffice.

Start by getting the meeting agenda. If your supervisor hasn’t given you one, ask for one. Explain that it’ll help you contribute better ideas.

Then, look at the planned topics, and prioritize them from most important to least important. Determine which of the most important topics you could stand to research, gather the information you need on it, and put your thoughts down on paper.

Writing out your thoughts is key. Doing so will help you determine what you want to say and enable you to communicate it clearly. Remember too that your notes are for your eyes only. Don’t worry about writing a polished piece. Bullet points are enough.

2. Assert Yourself.

If you want to find out how to talk more during meetings, watch people who do talk a lot. Whereas introverts feel less comfortable in meetings, extroverts are at home in them. They prefer to bounce their ideas off of other people, and they don’t mind interrupting a colleague to make a point. Furthermore, they don’t stress about having their thoughts together. They just start talking and build from there.

While I don’t suggest you ramble or talk just to talk, I do recommend you take a page out of an extrovert’s book and try sharing ideas before they’re perfect. We introverts tend to want to share only thorough, articulate solutions and insights, so, more often than not, we end up saying nothing at all. Try to break free of this tendency from time to time, and share an idea before it’s fully formed. Let the group help you work it out.

Better yet, wait until you have an idea that is well-formed – one that you’ve prepped using the agenda – and jump into the conversation. Go ahead, and talk overtop of someone else if you need to, especially if this is what other people are doing.

Some people don’t mind being interrupted or cut off. They don’t take it personally. If you listen to what they have to say most of the time and you treat them with respect, you’ll be in an even better position to push your way into a conversation on occasion.

3. Email Your Thoughts.

A difference between introverts and extroverts is that introverts think to talk while extroverts talk to think. Don’t be surprised, then, when you have trouble sharing during a meeting. That environment is not conducive to thinking. If you’re listening – really listening – you’ll won’t have enough space to think and get your ideas together, and few introverts contribute well on the fly.

Even if you’ve prepared in advance, you’ll likely still need to do additional thinking after the meeting. New ideas, questions, problems, and insights will arise when you get together with your colleagues, and you’ll need time to mull them over. When you get back to your desk and you start to reflect, that’s when all of the great ideas will hit you.

Make the most of them. If you want to know how to talk more during meetings, try doing it in writing. Once you’ve had enough time to think, compose a brief email in the quiet of your workspace, and send it to the meeting participants. Writing will not only afford you space to think, it’ll also enable you to share your thoughts more articulately than you probably could have in conversation.

4. Remember: Quantity Doesn’t Equal Quality.

Whether you share during a meeting or send an email after it’s through, remember that you don’t have to say a lot to contribute meaningfully.

One great idea expressed in a single sentence can trump a thousand words.Click To Tweet

Lean into your introverted strength of listening. Take in all your colleagues are saying. Analyze, evaluate, and synthesize. Then, surprise your colleagues with a clever solution or insight.

In Quiet Influence, Jennifer Kahnweiler tells the story of an introvert leader who sat through meetings without saying a word. To anyone who didn’t know the him, he appeared disengaged and detached. His team, however, knew what was really going on; he was tracking the whole time. At the end of meetings, he’d pull together everything that was said, highlight the key points, and make insightful observations. His team always benefited immensely from his thoughts.

When it comes to meetings, you don’t need to know how to talk more. You just need to lean into your introverted strengths and contribute in a way that works for you, while recognizing different isn’t wrong.

How do you make the most of meetings? What would you say to a fellow introvert who’s wondering how to talk more? Add to the conversation in the comments below!

Bo Miller
Bo Miller is an introvert blogger, podcaster, and teacher. He’s also a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner.

You can check out his work at https://ispeakpeople.com.

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How to Make Your Home an Introvert Haven

by Guest
August 18th, 2017

How to Make Your Home an Introvert HavenBeing an introvert can be difficult, especially when everything around you feels so hectic and fast-paced. If you’re a homeowner or renter, you need to make your place as introvert-friendly as possible. If you can make your down-time as calm and peaceful as possible, engaging in more extroverted activity won’t seem as daunting once you make the plunge. Use thse ideas to make your house a haven, and to work your introverted nature to your advantage.

Keep Things Quiet

Introverts generally love quiet spaces at home, so it’s important to work to keep things this way. This might mean using noise-cancelling insulation, or investing in better quality windows that don’t allow sound to penetrate through as easily. Keep indoor noises to a minimum as much as possible. If you have noisy pets, like birds or dogs, consider moving them to a different room where they will still feel wanted, but won’t be so boisterous.

Add Security

One way to feel extra comfortable at home is to add a home security package or app. These packages enable you to keep your home fully secured and give you the peace of mind you need when at home alone or with a group of close friends or relatives. Nowadays you can improve your ADT security system with home automation. While these packages can be a bit pricey at first, they will be a great boon to you as an introvert. Some monitor the door, telling you who is there so you can decide if it’s worth the energy to socialize or not.

Keep Guests to a Minimum

Guests need to be kept to a minimum in order for your home to truly feel like a haven and relaxing place to enjoy your own company. Try not to make it a habit to invite people over in large groups, and keep gatherings to a minimum throughout the year. If you must invite guests over, it’s important you work to ensure they are not over for long periods of time, and that the parties are as quiet as possible. Create a schedule to yourself and limit guests or parties to just a few a month or year.

Rework Your Furnishings

One thing a lot of introverts don’t like is a lot of clutter. It can become incredibly overwhelming for anyone, especially introverts, to be in a house so overly cluttered and disorganized. In order to make things easier on yourself or a loved one, rework the furnishings so they look organized. Get rid of items and objects you both don’t need or use. Try to keep the home as tidy as possible, and consider investing in maid service or a self-cleaning vacuum to keep housework to a minimum for yourself.

The Right Temperature

Being an introvert means you might spend more time indoors. This is fine, so long as you’re totally comfortable at all times. One way to encourage more comfort is to invest in good quality air conditioning and heating that is easy to maintain and change. This allows you or your introverted loved one the ability to feel comfortable staying inside for as long as they’d like.

As an introvert, you want your home to be as comfortable, quiet, and safe as possible. This is easy to do if you put the right work into the process. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money either, as you’ll find a quick tidy-over to your home and a reworking of your furnishings does an amazing job at getting the space to look clean and energizing.

Eileen O'Shanassy
Eileen O’Shanassy
is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking, and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.

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What This Introvert Asks Herself Every Day

by Guest
August 8th, 2017

social anxiety

I’m sitting in a chair in my kindergarten class with my head in my hands, sobbing my little heart out. My class-mates are all around me with their heads tilted back with laughter.

This is my first memory, growing up, and it is the start of my years of bullying. It is also the point I noticed my social anxiety, not to mention the shyness I still deal with.

Being the victim of bullying for as long as I have, the effects of it are still prevalent in my personality. I’m the quiet type that rarely speaks up in class or even at my job in customer service.

How do you deal with social anxiety when it’s such a big part of your life for so long? Do you push it under the rug or do you do something about it?

Why can’t you be like other people who are happy to talk to people about mundane things? When we’re called on in class, why is our first reaction to become freaked out?

These are all questions I’ve asked myself during my journey of social anxiety. These are questions I know I may never get an answer to but I ask them in my mind anyway.

1. How do you deal with social anxiety when it’s such a big part of your life?

For me, social anxiety has been a part of my life since I was a young woman. I remember my father telling me about his own dealings with it as a child.

Recalling those conversations years later made me realize I have the same condition. He had told them to me as a young woman but I forgot about the conversation until I was a junior in high school.

By then, I had been dealing with the anxiety for a couple years. It came to life when I was first learning how to drive as a sophomore in high school.

I’ll never forget the stress of high school, nor the diagnosis of my anxiety disorder years later. It was after college that I got diagnosed but it stuck with me.

2. Do you push it under the rug or do you do something about it?

For me, the answer is rather obvious: do something about it. It took me years to do that but I put my foot down after those years. I couldn’t stand living with the anxiety any longer so I took action.

I now have a therapist I enjoy speaking to on a monthly basis. I also have medication for the first time in three years that hasn’t made me have adverse side-effects.

That was my one goal in all this: to find the middle ground I’ve heard so many stories about. It shouldn’t have taken this long but I took the road I needed to take.

3. Why can’t you be like extroverted people?

This question always baffles me, especially if it comes from other people. I’ve heard people ask me this quite often if I’m being especially quiet over a period of time.

It doesn’t particularly bother me but it does bring up a valuable discussion between us. We aren’t all wired the same. Some people prefer to be talkative while others don’t like to speak as much.

It’s alright to have days where you don’t text anyone, let alone call them on the phone. Extroverts might not realize how much anxiety it causes if the extrovert calls them.

This is especially true for me since I grew up in customer service. I had to answer the telephone for my parents’ small business, which exhausted me on a mental level.

I was never good at speaking to people over a telephone, let alone face-to-face. So the thought of answering a telephone for a living is a thought full of dread.

4. Why is my first reaction to stutter when I’m called on about something?

I can remember those times in class when I wasn’t paying attention and I’m called on by the teacher. He or she asks a question of me and I’ve heard half of it at most.

I don’t know the answer to the question and it’s killing me as I stall for time to answer it. I’m stuttering something unintelligible while I’m blushing like crazy.

I couldn’t be more embarrassed, especially when I ask the teacher to repeat the question. I realize I’ve stalled too long, which means the teacher must know it too. Why else am I getting that nasty face?

It brings the worst kind of shame to the anxious person if you’re calling them out for being so quiet. Chances are, you’re interrupting some sort of thought process.

We probably heard you the first time but we’re thinking about a way to answer you. Don’t make it worse by embarrassing us. I’m begging you!

The introvert may have heard you the first time but they’re thinking about a way to answer you. Don’t make it worse by embarrassing them. I’m begging you!

Lisa Fourman
Lisa Fourman is a freelance writer in the mental health niche and the founder of Mystique MGMT. She plans to use her brand as a vessel to make mental illness less of a taboo subject at the dinner table. You can visit her website at http://lisafourman.com.

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Tags : children, shyness, social anxiety
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Seek and You Will Find (A Wife)

by Guest
July 24th, 2017

happy couple

A few years ago, I felt as though I’d never get married. I assumed my future wife and I would meet as we were going about our business. But no such meeting ever took place.

Then, I read something that radically changed my perspective:

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). That word find jumped out at me.

There are usually two ways you find something:

  1. You stumble upon it like you would a five dollar bill that’s laying on a sidewalk.
  2. You search for it like you search for your keys when you’re trying to leave for work.

While both are legitimate ways to find something, I couldn’t help but wonder if the second was the way I needed to approach marriage. Maybe I wasn’t finding a wife because I expected to randomly bump into her on the sidewalk when I should be actively looking for her.

Taking Action

A changed man, I did the first thing I could think of: I made a list. Since I make lists for everything else in life that I’m serious about, why not make a list of admirable girls?

Next, I picked up my phone and started calling. It was, at first, nerve-racking. I feared being rejected. But I’d also gotten to the point where I was more sick of waiting around than I was worried about whether or not a girl would reject me.

Ultimately, my list never produced – at least not in the way that I’d expected it to. All the ladies turned me down: “Oh, that’s so nice of you to ask… Actually, I’m busy that night (and every other night you want to hang out).”

Admittedly, I felt a bit discouraged. But I had gained invaluable knowledge: I learned where the dead ends were and, thus, stopped wondering and daydreaming about potential relationships. I, instead, reinvested my energies where I figured they’d yield the best results. What I learned was worth the effort.

The Payoff

But how did the list help?

Though it hadn’t produced a wife, my list was developing my character. Every time I called a girl, I strengthened my courage muscles. Active searching also prepared me for opportunities that weren’t even on my radar when I started out.

Unbeknownst to me, my dad had caught wind of an awesome girl. (Some friends from church had told him about her.) A few months earlier, I would have chickened out of meeting her. Now, however, I was a somewhat primed and willing to take a risk.

We eventually met, and, after about 15 months, got married.

My story boils down to a few gold nuggets.

Key Principles

1. Take action.

As an intuitive introvert, I tend to spend more time dreaming about the future than I spend taking action. I think, act, and then think, unlike extroverts who act, think, and then act. What I needed most was to “get out there” and do something. No amount of thinking alone could have changed my circumstances.

2. Get the car moving.

I’m an idealist. I want to know that the end will turn out picture perfect from the beginning. But that’s just not reality. Life is usually a series of pivots and course corrections on the road to a destination. It’s almost never a straight line. If you want to arrive at a destination – in this case, marriage – you have to get the car rolling, says author Jeff Goins. Then, and only then, you’ll be able to steer and course correct as necessary.

3. Don’t let negative feedback weigh you down.

Don’t let fear of rejection keep you from asking girls out. A “no” is as helpful as a “yes”. The sooner you find out who’s interested, the sooner you’ll be able to get to know her. Have an abundance mindset and remind yourself, as Michael Hyatt does, “There’s more where that came from.”

4. Opportunities will open up.

Our neighbor drives a Scion xB. I’d never seen that car before. However, now that I’m aware of it, I see it everywhere. The crazy thing about action is that it opens up opportunities. As soon as you make up your mind to go for a goal, you start seeing possibilities that you’ve never seen before, like seeing a new model of car that you’ve just become aware of. Your unconscious mind, and all your mental resources, work together on your behalf.

5. Network.

I’d likely still be single if it wasn’t for my dad and his friends. I knew a limited amount of girls. So, no matter how hard and long I worked to connect with them, my efforts could only go so far. But Dad’s friends new people I didn’t. And, in turn, their friends new still others. When my dad networked, he multiplied my chances for success.

If you want to get married, you need to take action.

What’s keeps you on the sidelines?

Bo Miller
Bo Miller
is an introvert blogger, podcaster, and teacher, who’s also a certified Myers-Briggs practitioner. He blogs at I Speak People.

Bo has taught for 7 years and holds a Masters of Arts in Education.

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Categories Relationships
Tags : marriage, socializing
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A job interview toolkit for introverts

by Guest
January 30th, 2017

If you consider yourself to be an introvert, it’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that the job interview process is designed to make you fail. An introvert processes their experiences internally: rather than bouncing ideas and responses off the people around you, you probably prefer to quietly contemplate new information by yourself and to respond to it in your own good time. It doesn’t sound ideal when you’re up against an interview panel, does it? Well, good news: being an introvert, you have plenty of other positive traits with which you can balance your approach to the process.

For example, as an introvert you are likely better at connecting with individuals than with groups. Because a panel is usually only a small ‘group’ of two or three people, you can demonstrate your engagement and your personal skills by making a connection with each of them individually, rather than playing to the crowd. You can already see how this may be more impressive than the extrovert approach of treating the panel as a multi-headed monster!

The good people at CashNetUSA have identified a whole toolkit of such approaches to help introverted candidates make the most of their special powers when they’re most needed. Check it out ahead of your next interview, and you’re sure to turn up primed to wow your potential new boss.

Introverts Guide to Job Interviews

About the author: Marilyn Vinch

Marilyn is London-based freelance writer who enjoys writing (and reading!) about the challenges small businesses face, human resources, leadership, personal growth, and working smarter. She is a digital nomad who loves travelling and immersing herself in different cultures. Follow her on Twitter: @mary_vinch

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Categories Introverts at Work
Tags : job search
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