Introvert Retreat
celebrating inner life in the outer world
  • Home
  • About Introversion
  • Introversion FAQ
  • Discussion Group

Archive for General – Page 2

4 Myths About Introverts

by Guest
November 14th, 2016

People often think of introverts as socially awkward people who tend to stay by themselves and avoid other people. While people may not think of an introvert as being an extremely happy or friendly person, they are probably assumed to be smarter and more creative than extroverts. Despite its frequency among people, introversion is one of the most misunderstood personality traits. Here are some debunked myths about introverts.

1) All introverts are shy.

Shyness may be confused with introversion, but they are very different from each other. While introversion is defined as gaining energy by spending time alone, shyness refers to a discomfort and sense of anxiety in social situations. Introverts are commonly confident around people, but just require more solitude to create a balance in their energy.

shy

Certainly some introverts are shy, but not a disproportionately high percentage. Conversely, some extroverts may lack confidence or display a shy personality, making it difficult for them to seek the interaction they so desperately need.

2) Introverts do not like people.

friends

Although introverts enjoy solitude, that does not mean they are antisocial. They simply enjoy social interaction differently than extroverts. Many introverts enjoy the company of other people, but they usually look for quality over quantity when it comes to relationships, choosing a small circle of intimate friends.

3) Introverts are negative.

Introverts are often thought of as being negative or depressed, due to their attraction to being alone. This myth may come from the fact that in contrast, extroverts gain energy from social interaction, and may become sad when they are alone.

alone

Alternatively, many introverts don’t associate solitude with loneliness. However, although introverts are not necessarily more likely to be depressed, they do spend more time analyzing situations, which may lead to rumination, and possibly depression. Psychology Today has this article on social thresholds and how introverts and extroverts respond to excess of opposite energy stimuli.

4) It is easy to spot an introvert.

Many introverts love talking to people, but they also look forward to restoring their energy by being alone. Because our culture rewards extroverted personality traits, introverts often behave like an extrovert when in social situations.

It is important to remember that some introverts enjoy people and socializing. While this may be done in a different way than extroverts, don’t assume your introverted friends don’t want to be included. If you are an introvert, you may be used to feeling like you are misunderstood by other people and having your tendencies misinterpreted for rudeness or shyness. Additionally, if you are an extrovert, you probably have a few misconceptions about people who tend to be more quiet.

Rachael Murphey is an entrepreneur in Denver CO and a writer on social science, family finance, and leadership. She has written for HostReview.com, Spider Vein Removal Austin, Doable Finance, and HR.com.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : introversion, shyness, socializing, stereotypes
Comments (1)

Why Introverts Make Great Public Speakers

by Guest
August 14th, 2016
Janet Barclay speaking at POC Conference 2015

Janet Barclay

If you were to list out the characteristics that most of us believe that a really good speaker must have in order to communicate the importance of public speaking, what would be on your list? I can only speak for myself, but I believe that I would have on my list that they would need to be an extrovert – an outgoing person who is always giving off lots of energy. You need this in order to connect with your audience, right? I’d be wrong. It turns out that introverts, those people who are more inwardly focused and less outwardly focused, can make really great speakers. Let’s find out why…

The Ability To Listen

In this context I sorta hate to admit this, but I believe that I am most defiantly an extrovert. What this means is that I really like to talk. Sometimes this is not a good thing – I tend to talk over people and don’t take enough time to listen to what they have to say. Introverts have a special skill – they happen to be very good listeners.

What this means is that when they are preparing to give a speech, they can use their listening skills to create a better speech. As they gather the information that they’ll need to create their speech, introverts take the time to listen to differences in opinion. This allows them to find the best solution, even if it turns out to be one that they didn’t suggest themselves.

For an introvert, it’s not all about listening. Instead, listening is where it starts. Once they’ve heard what someone has to say, an introvert will take this information and analyze it. They’ll consider all of the facts as they process what they’ve been told. The end result of this will be a well-thought out set of ideas that can be worked into their next speech.

Good At Sharing Both Ideas And Successes

Introverts are also very good at sharing both success and praise and this allows the audience to feel like they have been included in the speech. It’s not all about the speaker and this is what opens the door for the audience to feel as though the speaker is revealing things that they have learned to them instead of telling them things that they should already know.

What makes introverts especially good at collecting the information that they’ll need is that they don’t often feel threatened. They don’t feel threatened if their ideas are not the ones that the group decides to use and they are not threatened by high performers who may take up a lot of the conversation.

Introverts are able to move beyond themselves and instead focus on the issue that they’ll be building their speech around. Introverts are able to spend their time thinking about what their audience wants to accomplish. They don’t get hung up on the process that is going to be required in order to get there.

Willing To Take The Time Needed To Think

All too often we can find ourselves rushed to reach conclusions. These are the conclusions that then find their way into our speech that we then share with our audience. Introvert speakers don’t have this problem. They take their time and they think about what is going to go into their speech.

All too often, when we are collecting information for a speech we can be swayed by the person that we talk to who dominates a group discussion. An introvert has the ability to overcome this issue. They’ll take what they’ve heard and then they’ll take the time to sift through all of it in order to find out what it really means.

Introverts need an opportunity to go to a quiet place where they can ponder what they have been told. This allows them to both create solutions out of the information that they have gathered and to recharge themselves. It’s this kind of internal balance that will allow a great speech to be created.

What All Of This Means For You

Public speaking is the process of one person opening up and sharing their speech with an audience. We view this process as being the very definition of being an extrovert and so we assume that only extroverts would be any good at sharing the benefits of public speaking. However, it turns out that introverts have a number of key characteristics that make them very good at giving speeches.

Introverts possess the ability to do a good job of listening. Because introverts take the time to both listen and then think about what they’ve heard, the speeches that they deliver often talk directly to the issues that the audience is dealing with. When creating a speech, the introverted speaker collects ideas and successes from those around him or her. This means that their speech is about the issue and not them. Finally, creating a great speech takes time. Extroverts spend a lot of time thinking about how they’ll deliver the speech. Introverts spend their time thinking about what they’ll deliver.

In this world, it takes all types of people in order to give good speeches. Extroverts are often passed over when picking someone to give a speech. Perhaps we should not do this. Introverts have the ability to create a unique type of speech that can really connect with an audience.

About the Author

Dr. Jim Anderson
“America’s #1 Unforgettable Business Communication Skills Coach”
http://www.blueelephantconsulting.com
Your Source For Real World Public Speaking Skills™

Dr. Jim Anderson Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9131124Do you give speeches today, but want to learn how be more effective? Dr. Jim Anderson believes that great business skills are no substitute for poor presentation skills. Dr. Anderson will share with you the knowledge that he has gained while working to improve the speaking ability of both individuals and teams of speakers for over 20 years. Learn the secrets of effective speakers and really connect with your audience during your next speech.

If you want to follow Dr. Anderson on Twitter, he can be found at: http://twitter.com/drjimanderson

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9131124

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : public speaking
Comments (0)

Unique Travel Ideas for Introverts

by Hazel Thornton
February 27th, 2016

Shakespeare-and-Company-bookstore-380x253What is your idea of a great vacation and/or travel destination?

I was featured in an article on this topic, but I didn’t share it with anyone because I thought my comment was edited too much, making me sound like an idiot. But now I’m sharing it with you.

Here’s the article: 23 Unconventional Places Introverts Would Love To Travel

I’m #21: Living at the Famed Shakespeare & Co Bookstore in Paris. (Which I’ve actually visited, decades ago. It was the first time I’d ever seen a bookstore cat.)

“If you feel like talking, there is an endless supply of interesting people. If not, you can just sit and read”, says Hazel Thornton.

So, what’s wrong with that? My name is spelled right, and it links to my website and everything. But it neglects to mention that “living” in this famous bookstore is a real thing, and not just a flight of fancy! My full comment was:

Become a “Tumbleweed”, living (in exchange for working a little) at the famed Shakespeare & Co Bookstore in Paris, France. If you feel like talking, there’s an endless supply of interesting people to talk to, and if you don’t you can just sit and read. And, well, it’s Paris!

Here’s the article that inspired me: What It’s Like to Live Inside the Legendary Paris Bookstore Shakespeare & Co.

Now it’s your turn: Where would you, as an introvert, love to travel? Share with us in the comments below!

If you’re short on ideas, read the article for 23 great ones. Or, if you prefer, feel free to describe your perfect staycation.

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Comments (4)

What is Your Socializing Sweet Spot?

by Hazel Thornton
September 5th, 2015

Socializing Sweet SpotWhen introversion became a thing – when Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Won’t Stop Talking was published, and the internet started filling up with memes like “Introverts Unite… Separately… In Your Own Homes” — I felt a sense of relief. The modern definition of introversion as someone who simply needs to be alone to recharge one’s batteries fit me to a T. I no longer felt apologetic about wanting to leave a party early. Others, too, were coming out of the introvert closet.

Then I had a crappy year. The details are not important here — I’m not claiming mine was worse than yours… who knows? – but I found myself withdrawing even more than usual. I worked less with clients, networked less, and socialized less. Eventually I realized I wanted to do more virtual organizing than hands-on organizing, and took steps to make that happen, which was fantastic except for the part where I was slowly becoming a hermit.

My friend, and occasional houseguest, Jane, is a writer. She writes novels. She also has been an art teacher, worked with preschool kids, and done any number of bohemian part-time jobs to supplement her income. But she’s always been a writer. I, on the other hand, was an engineer at the phone company for 20 years prior to my 10-year stint as a hands-on professional organizer. It’s only been recently that we’ve realized I’m a writer too! I write blog articles and informational products, social media posts and website copy, e-books and action plans, meeting minutes, procedures, checklists, emails, and newsletters. This is becoming more apparent the less time I spend in person with clients and the more time I spend alone at my computer.

And what do writers stereotypically do? They keep to themselves and they write. They often neglect themselves and others in the process. Now, as you know, introverts usually enjoy being with others, for a little while at least. Being a hermit is no more a necessary characteristic of introversion than shyness is. So I’ve realized I need to get out more and spend more time with others. Since I have less time with others built into my routine now, I know I need to build some back in. And it’s not going to happen by itself.

I should probably mention that I live alone and love it. I see my aunt (and the other library volunteers) weekly; and my dad, brother, and I have a standing weekly breakfast date. Monthly activities include book club, a meeting of my fabulous professional organizing colleagues, and a business networking luncheon which I can’t just blow off because I have a job to do when I get there – one that forces me to talk to at least a few newcomers each time – which is to take photos of the event and post them on Facebook. I also cashier at the library used book sale once a month.

So that’s 12 out of 30 days where I spend time with others for a few hours (which is plenty) on a predictable basis. And 18 days where I don’t. Sure there’s the occasional spontaneous lunch date, get-together, or activity, but I think I need a little more.

So what’s my plan? I think the solution for me is to schedule at least one breakfast, lunch, or dinner date per week with a friend (rotating among several candidates). This is easier to work into my current working from home schedule than it was during a day of three-hour in-person appointments that I had to drive across town to get to. And I need to find an exercise class or physical activity that involves other people. I think those two things would get me back into my sweet spot.

What about you? What is your socializing sweet spot?

Are you getting just the right amount of me-time? Too much? Not enough?

And what are you planning to do about it?

Please share with us in the comments below!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : hermit, scheduling, socializing, stereotypes
Comments (32)

7 Phone Tips for Introverts

by Hazel Thornton
September 30th, 2014

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photography-old-black-retro-telephone-image17602162Who else besides me jumps out of their skin when the phone rings? It’s pretty much NEVER a good time for me to answer the phone. I’m ALWAYS in the middle of doing SOMETHING, whether it be working, spending time with someone, sleeping, eating, driving, exercising, watching TV, reading, or relaxing.

I’ve noticed, though, that it’s also pretty much never a good time for ME to call YOU! You are either not home, and I have to leave a message, or I am calling you on your cell and you are in the middle of working, spending time with someone, sleeping, eating, driving, exercising, watching TV, reading, or relaxing. By the way, I beg of you not to answer my call if you are driving, or eating with other people in a noisy restaurant. Seriously?

To those who say that calling is always better than emailing, I say: Better for whom? If I call with a quick question, and you actually answer, and we resolve the issue with minimal chit chat, then great! But how often does that happen? If I have to leave you a phone message, I might as well have written you an email, no? At least that way you can answer it thoughtfully, at your leisure, and we’ll both have a record of the exchange. Introverts are often more comfortable expressing themselves in writing. I know I am. What about you?

Yes, of course, it depends on the nature and urgency of the topic! Even so, I prefer texting for quick confirmations and such. And, yes, emails can get lost in cyberspace and overlooked in over-stuffed email inboxes. But so can phone messages. Sometimes your voice mail box is full and I can’t leave a message anyway! At least if I haven’t heard back from you via email I can re-send the message and ask, “Did this get lost in cyberspace?” This gives you an easy out and allows us to continue the conversation where we left off. If it were an urgent matter I would have called.

Since it’s hardly possible to be functional and social today without a phone, here are my tips for introverts who aren’t crazy about them:

  • Turn your ringer off. Yes really. Why not? Especially while you’re trying to focus on something. I suggest this to clients as a productivity technique. This is why God created Caller ID and Voice Mail! You may disagree, but I say that even if you have little kids in school you can turn your ringer off for an hour to work on an important project. Most likely, nothing will happen during that time. If something does happen at the school, your kid will be taken care of until you check your messages and get yourself over there. They don’t know what you were doing, and you don’t have to tell them, either. You DO have to check your messages and get back to people, though.
  • Adjust your ringer. If you can’t bring yourself to turn it off, set it to vibrate or find a gentler ringtone (or a louder one, if that’s what you really need). At home I have those cordless phones that come in a set. I select one to ring, and turn the rest of them off, especially the one I’m most often sitting right next to.
  • Schedule your calls. I’m using a scheduling tool called TimeTrade. It’s great! Anyone can schedule time with me, be it a paid in-person organizing session, a coffee date, or a phone call. I decide how much time per week I want to devote to such activities and make myself available when the time comes. I have a scheduling page on my website, but I can also invite someone to schedule a call, inserting the TimeTrade link, via email. Can you call me without scheduling? Of course you can But scheduling reduces phone tag and ensures that I will be available to talk with you at the appointed time. [September 2020 update: TimeTrade worked for me for a long time. Then I switched technologies — phone and computer operating systems — and started having problems. Things change so fast in tech-land that I would not predict that YOU would have a problem, which is why I’m not describing my tech issue in detail. But you should know that I’ve been using Acuity lately. Check them both out!]
  • Batch your calls. If you have multiple calls to make – schedule a medical appointment, ask a billing question, return a call, confirm a lunch date with a friend, etc. — decide when you’re going to make them and make them all at once to get them over with. Gather the pertinent info into a “To Call” folder so it’s handy when the time comes. Allow yourself extra time for annoying automated phone systems and long wait times. Grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable. Or, if you are nervous about making calls, try making them standing up. I make notes about what I want to remember to say or ask, and stand at my kitchen counter with the notes in front of me. It also helps to keep the calls short!
  • How does your phone sound? One of my phone issues is sound quality. I’m getting older, so my hearing is starting to be a candidate for suspicion, but I’m pretty sure the real problem here is that newer technology, while clever and ubiquitous, has inferior sound quality. Not to mention crummy and dropped signals. If the call is scheduled in advance I have a better chance of using the phone I prefer, in a location where I am comfortable talking, and I’ll have my ear buds handy.
  • You don’t have to give everyone your cell phone number. Well, if you’ve given up your landline you might. In my case, the whole world has my home number because I am self employed and it is published on my business cards, website, etc. But only a handful of people have my cell phone number. I try to make them understand that my phone is always on “silent”, and that I rarely use it for actual talking but they sometimes forget. That’s OK as long as I check my messages and get back to them.
  • Humor them. If you have clients (or family, or friends) who REALLY prefer a phone call over an email, and you REALLY want to work with them (or maintain a relationship with them), by all means give them a call. Otherwise, do it your way. Email, snail mail, no mail… Why can’t THEY get used to email? That’s what I’d like to know!

What are YOUR best phone tips?

Please share with us in the comments!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : telephone
Comments (20)

A Room of One’s Own

by Hazel Thornton
May 25th, 2014

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-images-suitcase-image19196924It’s not cheap being an introvert! Especially if you’re a single introvert who is used to being alone most of the time. I’m referring, in this case, to the extra cost of me-time that comes in the form of a single supplement for a room to oneself on a cruise…or on any occasion involving hotel rooms.

I’m in the midst of packing for a professional conference at which the majority of attendees will be paired up for the purpose of sharing the cost of a room. For many, it will also ensure that they will have more fun. More fun?! Sharing a room with a stranger? Even sharing with a friend can be stressful for an introvert who lives in peace and quiet at home. A roommate, even a quiet introverted one, requires more energy than I have to spare.

The conference is going to be educational, inspirational, and, yes, fun! It’s going to be SO MUCH fun that I’m going to need a place of my own at times to get away from it all and recharge my batteries. So I reserved my own room and will simply absorb the cost. I know it will be worth it. I will participate fully in the conference activities and then retreat to my peace and quiet. I will have dinner with others, and enjoy a glass of wine, but I will not be part of the dancing, drinking, karaoke crowd. I need my sleep!

When it comes to vacationing with others, it took me years to realize that it was worth it to me to simply get my own room. However, not only does it cost more, it also makes it difficult for others who would like to save money, and enjoy even more of my company, by sharing a room with me.

I realize there are different types and degrees of introversion. Do you, too, prefer a room to yourself? Or do you welcome the occasional stimulation and companionship of a travel roommate? What other costs can you think of that are associated with being an introvert? Please leave a comment in the section below!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

 

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories Business Networking, General
Tags : conference, Hotel, networking, travel
Comments (19)

Are You an Impractical Introvert?

by Guest
March 31st, 2014
snail

Photo © Dalia Drulia / sxc.hu

Imagine yourself as a beautiful, elegant…snail. Snails cannot leave their shells permanently, as shells are a part of their body. As a snail grows, its shell does too. The shell offers protection from predators and elements, however the snail must poke its head out often enough to get around in the world.

Don’t worry. This isn’t going to be a “come out of your shell” post. That’s an extrovert’s way of misinterpreting introversion as an affliction. But have you ever felt that your introversion holds you back at times? Has it ever been so drastic that it kept you from accomplishments?

There is one major thing that is going to get you through life successfully as an introvert and that’s discomfort tolerance. You’re going to be uncomfortable at times, and let’s face it: sometimes hiding from a tumultuous world can be addicting.

“In terms of like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.” -John Mulaney, comedian

Introversion and Extroversion are not traits like a person’s race or sex. Its more like a scale. You can move up and down the scale, but you are anchored to a particular range. You can’t change what you are, but you can become better at being what you are.

Being extremely introverted or extroverted wouldn’t be very healthy or practical. Mega extroverts wouldn’t think before they speak, wouldn’t be able to tolerate themselves alone, and would be basically dependent on others for their entire being. Extreme introversion (as you may have noticed at times in your life) can mean missing out, not seeking enough support, and having irrational fears surrounding people. This is Impractical Introversion. It gets in your way.

As introverts we should not be trying to make ourselves into extroverts. However we can always push ourselves a little further towards the middle of the scale in order to reap more of the benefits of socialization.

“The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.” -Aldous Huxley

Impractical introversion is not just enjoying your private time. It’s when you go above and beyond to stay in your safe zone, even when it’s to your detriment. It’s extreme dread of social situations, even when they are minor or casual.

Not sure if you are being an impractical introvert? Here are some possible side effects:

• You’re not as far along in your career as you could be
• You don’t date or haven’t dated in ages because its just too much hassle
• Strangers’ eye contact agitates you, especially in the morning (WHAT DO THESE $&!$ING PEOPLE WANT!?!?!)
• You avoid plans with even your closest friends and acquaintances you never see
• You’ve been avoiding a certain conversation with your boss or spouse for months
• You spend most of your free time either lost in thought or with your pets (you speak Meow more than English)

Yikes. You get the idea. Introversion is not synonymous with shyness or low self-esteem, although they do coincide far more often than with extroversion. Unfortunately with that could come anxiety, depression, and before you know it you’re convinced you are a few cards short of a deck.

So the important take away is to not let your introversion get carried away. If you find yourself in frequent seclusion or habitually experiencing social anxiety, you need to balance your scale.

You don’t need to “come out of your shell.” Just thrive in it, master it, and poke your head out whenever it makes sense.

Brianna JohnsonBrianna graduated with a BA in Sociology and is successfully unemployed while working on her first novel. She also began The Absurdist Chronicles, a blog for social commentary and general antics.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General, Social Anxiety & Shyness
Tags : comfort zone, socializing
Comments (21)

How to Be an Introverted Houseguest or Host Without Driving Each Other Crazy

by Hazel Thornton
January 16th, 2014

Benjamin Franklin wasn’t kidding when he wrote, in Poor Richard’s Almanac, “Fish and visitors smell in three days.” Especially if you are an introvert and live alone 99% of the time. Even when the guest is your best friend of forty years.

Since I moved to Albuquerque several years ago, Jane, whose idea it was to write this article, has been spending Christmas with me. I usually go to visit her in Denver in the spring or fall. When the subject of introversion came up, it was obvious to me that I was an introvert, but I had never thought about whether or not she was, too, and how that might affect our relationship. She fits all the criteria, certainly…but she also likes to talk more than I do, and never runs out of things to say. As entertaining as that can be, I am simply not used to talking or listening so much during a day, much less for several days in a row. It can distract me, and drain me of energy, especially if there is something else I need to be doing or thinking about as the host. Let me tell you how we have worked things out by understanding and accepting our introverted natures.

If you are an introverted host:

  • Remodel your garage into a guest suite. OK, that’s probably not feasible for everyone, but that’s what I did. I figure the more privacy my houseguests have, the more privacy I have too, and the more I can tolerate – er, I mean enjoy — their company. Plus this way I don’t have to share my bathroom either.
  • You don’t have to spend every minute with your guests. Really, you don’t. If they are tourists with their own car, I like to point them in the right direction and say, “Have a nice day, I can’t wait to hear all about it at dinner!”

If you are an introverted guest:

  • Don’t be shy about saying you’d rather stay in a hotel, if that’s the case. Some people are offended by that, but I’m not sure why as long as you aren’t asking them to pay for it. Make sure to tell them sincerely how much you are looking forward to spending time with them, but also make it clear that you need time alone to recharge your batteries because you are an introvert. If they look at you funny, this is your chance to educate them on the subject.

If your host is introverted:

  • Jane knows I start my day slower than she does, so she sometimes goes out to sit in the hot tub with a good book and a Diet Pepsi while I check my email, drink coffee, and wake up in silence
  • Do offer to help (e.g. in the kitchen), but don’t insist. It could be that your host is using that time alone in the kitchen to unwind in silence after a long day together.

If your guest is introverted:

  • If you can’t dedicate a whole room to your guest, consider putting up a screen in the corner of the room where they will be sleeping so that they will have a place to retreat and recharge.
  • Jane is over-stimulated by shopping malls, superstores, and crowds. So I shop for anything we might need (even if it’s just groceries) before she arrives. I ask her in advance what special things she might need and get those while I’m at it.

If you are both introverted:

  • This is when it gets easy, because you both know how the other feels.
  • No matter how early I rise, as long as we have no specific morning plans, I let Jane sleep as long as she possibly can. She’s on vacation, after all, but this also gives me time to myself. Of course, this is easier the more private your guest room is.
  • Stick to mutually desirable activities and don’t try to do too much in a day.
  • Declare an afternoon “me-time” so you can both recharge however you see fit (i.e. napping or reading). Then neither of you will be cranky at dinnertime.
  • Work out a mutually agreeable signal, or just say, “No more talking, OK?”, if you need to suspend the conversation and concentrate on something else for a few minutes (or longer).
  • One of the things we implemented long ago is something we call “The List”. The List is where we jot down topics of conversation that we don’t want to forget to address during our visit. We keep in touch between visits, of course, but some topics are best discussed in person or in depth. This way we can feel free to declare, “No more talking, OK?” without the other person worrying that we might not get to their favorite topic.

As with any relationship, every situation is different, and the key to guest/host relations is communication. You can read more of my tips for making guests feel comfortable in my blog article: Is Your Guest Room Guest Worthy?

This year Jane and I were both a little sadder to part than usual. While definitely looking forward to getting back to normal, we weren’t quite as anxious as usual to retreat to our respective homes and introverted lives. And she was here for four days!

How do you deal with having, or being, a houseguest? Let us know by leaving a comment!

Hazel Thornton is a professional organizer and genealogist based in Albuquerque, New Mexico; creator of The Clutter Flow Chart Collection; and author of Go with the Flow! The Clutter-Clearing Tool Kit for an Organized Life. Visit her online at www.org4life.com.

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General, Relationships
Tags : Host, Hotel, Houseguest, travel
Comments (13)

Celebrating Christmas As an Introvert

by Guest
December 11th, 2013

an introvert at ChristmasI hate feeling awkward in new gatherings.

But, as long as I can remember, I struggle with meeting new people in group settings, making meaningful connections and breaking through the uncomfortable barrier of “breaking the ice.”

Even though I am a friendly person, moving beyond the meet and greet and settling in to a group can be terrifying for me, especially when people start asking me questions about me! Despite my discomfort in these settings, it doesn’t stop me from moving, discovering new groups and activities or going out of my home to new places. I just find myself being the loner more often than not.

Read More→

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : christmas, holidays, party
Comments (5)

How to Cope with Christmas Chaos

by Janet
November 27th, 2013

Christmas Chaos

Image courtesy of Evan Courtney, used under a Creative Commons license

We are quickly approaching that time of year where social interaction is inevitable. Depending on your situation, you may be invited to one or more family gatherings, work parties, and other get-togethers, often grouped together in a very short time frame.

My life has settled down a lot in that area, now that my husband and I work at home in our own business and that the kids have grown up, but I remember years when we had social occasions on Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, Christmas night, and then again on Boxing Day. I sure don’t miss that, but I know that many introverts struggle every year to decide which events they WANT to attend, which ones they feel they MUST attend, and how to keep everyone happy  – including themselves!

Since I’ve blogged about this before, I decided to find out how other introverts manage to get through – and even enjoy the holiday season. Here are a few articles which I hope will you to cope with Christmas chaos and have a wonderful time with your loved ones.


How many holiday gatherings will you be attending (or hosting) this year?

Tweet
Pin
Share
Share
Categories General
Tags : christmas, holidays, party
Comments (0)
« Previous Page
Next Page »

Welcome to Introvert Retreat

We explore and celebrate introversion as a healthy personality type, defined by C.G. Jung and later by the Myers Briggs MBTI type indicator. Click on About and FAQ to learn more about this type. See if it fits you or someone you know. Add your comments to our posts, or join us in online or email discussion with other introverts.

Follow the blog

Contributors

  • Janet
  • Chris
  • Hazel
  • Marki
  • Dr. Maggie
  • Guest Bloggers

Categories

  • Books
  • Business Networking
  • Contemplation
  • General
  • Introverts at Work
  • Movies and TV
  • Relationships
  • Sensitivity
  • Social Anxiety & Shyness
  • Type Theory

Policies

  • Disclosure Policy
  • Privacy Policy
Introvert Retreat
Copyright © 2021 All Rights Reserved
iThemes Builder by iThemes
Powered by WordPress