In response to requests, here’s where you can get those “Don’t Want to Talk Buttons”
In response to requests, here’s where you can get those “Don’t Want to Talk Buttons”
The holidays loom on the horizon. Holidays are great but many are also party days. Too many parties in a row can be a challenge for an introvert.
Susan over at Quietly Fabulous has eight great ideas for party survival:
For more details and additional resources, read 8 Tips For Introverts To Survive The Holidays.
What do you do when you find your energy flagging at a party?
Have you found ways to leave a party briefly, to recharge and return?
One of the things I have noticed over the years is how the media, and society in general, like to pigeonhole people. We seem to love sticking people into boxes and putting a label on them. This is definitely the case with introverts. Now I know when you talk about introverts there will be a certain amount of generalisation. You have to generalise if you are talking about a group of people. But not only does society tend to pigeonhole introverts, it also seems to misunderstand them as well.
The way we introverts manage our time and space has a tremendous impact on our work style.
Introverts typically prefer to work alone. Even when the nature of a particular project dictates working as a group, we would rather have some time alone to formulate our ideas before involving others.
Naturally, this means we appreciate having our own space where we can concentrate and work privately. If it’s not possible for an introvert to have his or her own office, even a cubicle with partitions is much more desirable than working in an open area.
“Everyone’s alone — or so it seems to me.
They make noises, and think they are talking to each other;
They make faces, and think they understand each other.
And I’m sure they don’t. Is that a delusion?”
We’re having a heat wave now. Temperatures in the 90s. Warnings on TV and radio to stay inside if possible and to move slowly if we must go out into the blazing sun. When I open the door to go out, it’s like stepping into an oven. And that experience is similar to what I (as an introvert) feel when I step into a cocktail party. It really does feel like walking into a wall of jaggedy vibes. That’s the first thing that I perceive. The second is the high noise level. People are hollering conversation at each other. All my instincts are hollering at me to get out of there, but I’m determined to carry this through. I plunge into the room.
The magazines and etiquette books (and even my friends and relatives) give advice on how to enter a room. Apparently I should pause in the doorway and allow the other guests to admire my pretty face. Oh dear. I flubbed it. I’m pretty sure that what I had on my face was horror.
On the right, immediately next to the door, is the open bar, with a bartender who moves with the speed of light. I ask for white wine and get a martini. You can tell them apart by the olive. I smile and keep going.
It doesn’t take long for frenetic interaction with dozens of people to drain my energy. If only I could take a bit of a break – maybe just go outside and recharge in the quiet – then I would be able to stay. But there’s no popping in and out of cocktail parties. Once you leave, you’re gone.
Why do cocktail parties exist? Why would anyone want to bellow conversationally with strangers? Is it for networking? A sort of corporate speed-dating? That may be it. I haven’t been invited for cocktails since I retired. I guess I can learn to live without them.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a long time, you might recognize the name Nancy Ancowitz. Nancy is a Business Communication Coach who specializes in helping introverts excel through one-on-one coaching, presentations and workshops, and her blog, Self-Promotion for Introverts®.
Nancy has recently written a 13-page manifesto in which she dispels many of the myths and stereotypes around introversion and offers 10 strategies to help introverts succeed in a job search, which can be applied to other situations as well. She does a wonderful job of explaining what introversion is – and what it is not – making it a valuable resource for extraverts as well as introverts. You are welcome to download a copy of Self-Promotion for Introverts®: Get Heard More. Even If You Talk Less.
She has sent me a copy of her new book, Self-Promotion for Introverts®: The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead, which I’m looking forward to reading, so be sure to subscribe to this blog so you don’t miss my upcoming review.
In a recent article in the New York Times, Success Isn’t Only for the Extroverts, Nancy described the dramatic changes that took place in her career after realizing she is an introvert and learning how to make the most of her strengths, instead of trying to be something she is not. It really is inspiring, and I encourage you to read it, especially if you face similar challenges.
Nancy Ancowitz is just one of thousands of successful introverts! If you feel that your introversion is standing in the way of your success, check out her resources and learn how introversion can actually be an asset.
That is, of course, a silly question. Both extraverts and introverts can be very organized, very disorganized, or anything in between. There are, however, some differences in the ways that introverts and extraverts manage their time and space.
In terms of time management, introverts like fairly long periods of time to focus on their current task. For this reason, they prefer a workspace which allows for privacy and concentration, and view people who stop by or call to chat as interruptions.
Extraverts, however, welcome people stopping by or calling to touch base, and prefer a workspace which facilitates this type of interaction.
Because introverts think before acting, they may be slow to act, and others may view the time they spend processing information as non-productive.
Extraverts are more inclined to jump quickly into an activity, often without allowing enough time for reflection. As a result, they may need to step back and redo some steps, which also hampers productivity.
Introverts may have a tendency to procrastinate regarding activities requiring interaction with others, such as making telephone calls. One thing that works for me is to get those tasks out of the way before I start my other work for the day. I can then relax and enjoy working on the types of projects I prefer, without the knowledge of those pending calls weighing on my mind.
Extraverts often dread such activities as organizing their home or workspace, but this task can often be made more interesting and effective if they work along with a group of people, whether it is friends, professional organizers, or a combination of both.
Introversion-extraversion is just one piece of the puzzle that makes up your personality type, and your organizing style. You can learn more about this subject in my new e-book, Organizing Your Life, Your Way. With this e-book, you can learn about your personality type and the ways it affects your relationship with time and space, and the reason why some people have more difficulty than others getting and staying organized. You will then be able to use your new understanding to develop organizing and time management strategies which work in harmony with your personal preferences.
Because even people who share the same type preferences have their own unique strengths, challenges, and systems that work for them, and because new organizing and time management products are developed all the time, I intend to continue my research and to publish an updated edition of this e-book in the future.
Please take a few minutes to share some information to help other readers to better understand themselves and others, and to develop their own organizing and time management solutions.
Simply go to http://tinyurl.com/your-org-style to answer a few questions. Be assured that no identifying information will be collected.
Leila Bulling Towne, an executive business coach, tells managers it’s time to start getting to know introverts.
She gives managers three tips for getting the best out of introverted employees:
Her message is that introverts think, then act. To sum it up in my own words: If we don’t respond immediately, it doesn’t mean we don’t know, don’t care or agree. It means we’re processing it for a thoughtful response.
You can watch the full video here.
Does it ring true for you?
“The Bouquet Residence, this is Hyacinth Bouquet, the lady of the house speaking.”
Do you remember Mrs. Bucket (Bouquet) from PBS British comedy? Well, she’s got a job working as a receptionist for my dentist. At least, it could be her, it certainly sounds like her.
Oh, how that woman loves the sound of her own voice. Here’s how she answers the phone: “Hello! This is Becky Mae Walton, the receptionist in the office of Dr. Harry Jones, the dentist, how may I help you today?” Too much information, don’t you think? I have had entire phone calls that didn’t last as long as her greeting.
I heard her call a patient’s office, to say he’d be delayed a half hour returning from the dentist. She used the whole self-introductory speech, only she ended it with “I am calling on behalf of Mr. Smith.” Only then did she get to the meat of the message and divulge the bit about Mr. Smith’s half-hour. That’s quite a build-up. She sounds like she’s accepting an Academy Award, or maybe awarding one. The person on the receiving end must have got a word in edge-wise, because the receptionist responded, “You can live without him for another half-hour, can you? HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!” And she scanned the reception area to see who else thought she was witty. I felt obliged to smile a little, not enough to encourage her, I hope.
And the dentist? He’s an introvert, as best I can tell. He doesn’t say much unless he’s got something to say. What a relief.