In response to requests, here’s where you can get those “Don’t Want to Talk Buttons”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/117009082/the-headphones-mean-i-dont-want-to-talk
Archive for Social Anxiety & Shyness
The holidays loom on the horizon. Holidays are great but many are also party days. Too many parties in a row can be a challenge for an introvert.
Susan over at Quietly Fabulous has eight great ideas for party survival:
- Plan ahead.
- Find another introvert.
- Hide.
- Escape plan.
- Be patient.
- Say No.
- Have a sense of humor.
- Be yourself.
For more details and additional resources, read 8 Tips For Introverts To Survive The Holidays.
What do you do when you find your energy flagging at a party?
Have you found ways to leave a party briefly, to recharge and return?
“Everyone’s alone — or so it seems to me.
They make noises, and think they are talking to each other;
They make faces, and think they understand each other.
And I’m sure they don’t. Is that a delusion?”
T.S. Eliot
We’re having a heat wave now. Temperatures in the 90s. Warnings on TV and radio to stay inside if possible and to move slowly if we must go out into the blazing sun. When I open the door to go out, it’s like stepping into an oven. And that experience is similar to what I (as an introvert) feel when I step into a cocktail party. It really does feel like walking into a wall of jaggedy vibes. That’s the first thing that I perceive. The second is the high noise level. People are hollering conversation at each other. All my instincts are hollering at me to get out of there, but I’m determined to carry this through. I plunge into the room.
The magazines and etiquette books (and even my friends and relatives) give advice on how to enter a room. Apparently I should pause in the doorway and allow the other guests to admire my pretty face. Oh dear. I flubbed it. I’m pretty sure that what I had on my face was horror.
On the right, immediately next to the door, is the open bar, with a bartender who moves with the speed of light. I ask for white wine and get a martini. You can tell them apart by the olive. I smile and keep going.
It doesn’t take long for frenetic interaction with dozens of people to drain my energy. If only I could take a bit of a break – maybe just go outside and recharge in the quiet – then I would be able to stay. But there’s no popping in and out of cocktail parties. Once you leave, you’re gone.
Why do cocktail parties exist? Why would anyone want to bellow conversationally with strangers? Is it for networking? A sort of corporate speed-dating? That may be it. I haven’t been invited for cocktails since I retired. I guess I can learn to live without them.
Photograph (c) Sarah Lewis
Although struggling with shyness is not exclusive to introverts, it’s a challenge that many of us face.
I recently read an article on Personal Development @ Suite 101 which outlines these helpful tips to help you eliminate self-destructive behaviours and be more assertive in your day-to-day life.
- Be present.
- Observe your thoughts, but don’t believe them.
- Use “I” statements.
- Remember that non-verbal communication is as important as verbal.
- Accept yourself!
For more details and additional resources, read Trample Your Shyness and Rev Up Your Assertiveness.
Do you consider yourself shy? Have you found ways to overcome it?
Last fall I wrote about business communication coach Nancy Ancowitz, who offers a course called “Self-Promotion for Introverts.” I’ve just found out that she has a new course coming up in March, called Presentation Skills for Introverts. Sure makes me wish I was closer to New York City! I’ve been asked to speak to a number of groups since launching my business, and although it’s become less painful the more I do it, I could sure use some tips to present my ideas “with confidence and passion” as well as “body language, vocal variety, managing jitters, and staying attuned to [my] audience.”